FEELING THOSE FEELINGS AGAIN

I wish I could explain all of the anger and the pain that creeps up inside of me
You choose not to listen or to see
It leaves a giant hole in me
If you would let me speak it would help me to heal
help me not to feel so much the pain, again and again.

You don't know how lucky that  you are
you do not carry the scars which cover me
I tried to save you from that which I had to endure
I wish I could ignore the anger and the pain
but here it comes to the surface again

Words escape these lips
I feel myself slip into the abyss I left so long ago
The anger and the pain it shows
you label me out of control
these things you will never ever know

Those things beyond my control
So difficult to let go
Attached  to my soul
that anger and the pain

They don't belong to me
but on me they cling
I wish to fling them back where they belong
Attached to me so long
not the way I roll, I own what I sow

I try to keep the faith
 At times there is a large trace
What  left me behind
Occupies my mind
Not a pleasant way
I wish they would go away

Down my face the tears do flow
that is all I control
If you choose to see or not
it is all okay
the pain always goes away
the anger has a place
far from the smile on my face

I hope for you it never becomes real
feeling what I feel
I will be happy in the end
and won't have to pretend
I did the best I could
I lived my life in the name of good
despite the anger and the pain