Wednesday, May 29, 2013

MANAGING TO MANAGE

It has been a really weird month as I look back on it.  Although it went by quickly, I realize I have spent most of this month trying to ignore my level 9/10 chronic pain, as I look back at what I have accomplished and how little I have actually done.

It is really strange adjusting to my life for the past 12 years living with chronic pain.  The last five years without pain medication, which, although it did help to a small degree, I feel so much better without all those chemicals inside me.

Having to pick and choose what I can do, when there never was a question of my ability in the past, free to do whatever I wanted, the limitless energy I seemed to posses, replaced instead with not being able to commit to things I otherwise would have readily done!

It comes in spurts, the high pain levels, having constant level 5/6 pain is my normal, and due to my defense mechanism, usually easy to distract myself from.  The past two weeks however, it has been much higher all of the time, with my little tricks not working so well for me.  My neck and back are toast and sleeping has been hit or miss, and restful sleep is non existent.  

I guess I am fortunate, not to be worse off.  I can tell you however, that I am looking so forward to meeting my new doctor in July.  Getting myself checked out and maybe on a better path, with hope picking up some new tools and tips to manage my pain better without medication ~ fingers crossed ~ because I really do not want to go back down that road.

My adventure with my friend Lisa on Friday was a huge distraction.  While it did nothing positive for my pain, it was nice to be in another state around people I have never met, listening to a band I had never heard and dancing and laughing and having a good time!

When you have chronic, constant pain, you have to pick and choose what is worth increasing your pain for.  Even the simplest tasks can increase pain and leave me laid up for a minimum of three days!  I really do not like this change in my abilities and would rather like it to just go away and leave me alone, but we all know that that is not going to happen!

I was lucky, when I lived in New Ashford, I got to barter with an acupuncturist from Williamstown.  Let me tell you, after one visit with Beth, the next day I could actually feel hot water on my back, neck and front.  If you have ever had the experience of not being able to feel heat (unless it was scalding hot) or experienced nerve damage, it is quite a trip!  After 5 or 6 years of not feeling those sensations you could not imagine the complete joy of not having to burn your skin to feel hot water.

Even though I have lost a cup and a plate, and almost dropped a mostly empty box of food over the past three days, had a weight limit of 5lbs you are supposed to adhere to after 30 years of no limitations you have not been challenged!  Not one to cry over spilt milk, things dropping without warning, falling to the ground from a stand still position, and while it can be frustrating as hell, I am thankful that my spirits and attitude have been fairly high most of the time.

Since I did not choose to get in two accidents within four months of each other (not my fault), it is frustrating!  I had finally figured out what I wanted to do with my life and was looking at a promotion to lead room manager when the first one hit, which really sucked!

I have been on a mission to learn to adjust, fit in, figure out what I am able to do and not beat myself up over the things which I am no longer able to do.  As my first pain counselor said, this could be a blessing in disguise, a time to work on me, and that is what I have been wholeheartedly doing since 2001.

It has not been easy, but it is my journey.  Thanks for joining me!


Sunday, May 26, 2013

UNEXPECTED ADVENTURES


Prior to writing my blog on Friday, I had walked back from my doctor's appointment after having a major session which was productive, yet very traumatic, and walking to the library in the greyness of the day was appropriate a backdrop for the way I was feeling.

I went in the library to pick up a reserve, spoke with a friend of mine whom I volunteer with to give him an update on my availability, picked up my book and headed out the doors when I spotted a friend of mine whom I had known forever but not like a see everyday kind of friend, and actually a person who always makes me smile and whose hugs just warm my heart ~ after greetings and a much needed hug I headed home smiling despite the gloom of the day!

On Friday, when I last left you, I had an hour to wait for my son's prescription, an hour to kill when I was nicely surprised with an invitation to go meet a woman whom I met in December, a friend of a friend who came to where I was helping another friend with her boutique, who felt like someone I had met before and had known for a long time, although we never in this life had been acquainted.

I eagerly went to the meeting, instead of making banana bread to kill the hour, heading to Flavours ~ Chin Lee's wonderful restaurant to meet her.  The hour to kill sped by quickly as we picked up without missing a beat with our friendship.  Two hours later we made it to the pharmacy ~

It was amazing to spend time and we made plans to take a road trip and go to Glens Falls to see one of her favorite bands later that evening ~ as she had prematurely arrived for her return from Florida back to the Berkshires, she had her dog and a few things to take care of and I having been away from my house for hours had a couple of things to do before the evenings festivities.

I spent some quality time with my son, hanging out, watching t.v. together and chatting together, laughing and waiting for dinner to cook and he was happy at my adventure of the day and was very encouraging about me heading out of time, joking with me when my girl friend called to ask if she could get ready at my house before we went out ~ teasing me a bit about it.

Our 86 mile trip took us two hours, and we traveled far through time and space laughing, sharing and really connecting ~ hijacking each others sentences and both amazed at how similar and amazingly comfortable we were with each other ~ like we had known each other for years instead of only spending a total of five hours with each other over the course of two meetings.

We had an amazing time laughing, dancing, drinking talking and having fun in New York with the band Static!  I am not familiar with much newer music ~ being acquainted with mostly music from the 60's through mid 90's, and I tried to keep up with my new friend despite the fact that you are not allowed to dance in yours socks in the lovely state ~ we girls in Massachusetts like to dance barefoot or in socks ~ I was surprised when the bouncer came over and made my friend put her sandals back on!  

The band ended at 2:30 and it was only fitting that she got to rest after driving 30 + hours with her dog from Florida ~ thankful to be able to get a little rest and I was delighted to drive a car ~ especially one with a push button ignition and her GPS just in case for co - pilot.

We arrived back to find that we were too late at McDonalds for cheeseburgers, so she got a breakfast sandwich and we headed to my house exhausted.  After smoking a cigarette and settling her into my great room with a pillow and cozy comforter I retired to my room and woke up after two hours forcing myself to go back to sleep for a couple more hours.

When we got up, we had tea and were laughing and talking some more and another five hours passed in what seemed like two minutes.  It was awesome!  It made us laugh some more how time is so very funny when we get together!

Since her new diggs were not ready, I again offered my house.  She went off to do her errands and try to get loose ends tied up and I did the same.  She came back and my son and she and I had a great time sitting and chatting, laughing and next thing you know it was 1:30 in the morning ~ she looked beat and I was barely functioning when we retired.

Sunday morning and she was up before me, but again the morning coffee lasted well into the early afternoon. She was a gift sent to me from heaven I swear to whatever Gods are out there!  The universe put us together for something of that I am certain!  I am still riding high on the energy which filled my house and heart!

Very rarely in my life do I encounter people who seem to be dropped out of the sky, sent from some wonderful place, full of love and light as much as Lisa.  I have been honoured and delighted to have this unexpected invitation to kill an hour turn into three of the most amazing and wonderful days of my life.

There is a void in my house right now, as I watch my son waiting for me finish this epic tale.  It is like a vacuum without her presence.  I am so thankful that she has moved back to the area!  I am thankful to the universe for sending this amazing woman into my life!

Friday, May 24, 2013

CARING AND SHARING

I had an early meeting with my doctor, Richard today.  It is nice to get some clarity from an outsider who is most definitely an insider.  I am grateful to have regained him as my guy again.  After the two or so years since I have not had a Physician, and my doc Richard going into private practice,  having recently obtained a doctor I am able to see Richard again.  Yay!

Richard took Lydia's place.  Thankfully, we had a corridor relationship, whereas I did not know him, but I said hi, and he in return for the eight years that I saw Lydia, before she had to retire for health reasons.  Unfortunately, the timing of her retirement happened when I was really ready to share with her and do some major work.

Needless to say, that was more moons than I like to recall.  The work has gone undone to the extent that I, while trusting Richard, am not able to do the work that I could have done with dear sweet and most definitely missed Lydia!

I did promise Lydia that I would not slip back to the creature that I was when I walked into her office.  Angry, sad, alone and scared.  Having recently reconnected with emotions I no longer felt after the years of listening and believing the negative and hateful reinforcement in my life ~ most of my life, not all of it though, and not from everyone.  Every once in awhile I would be around people whose  main goal it was not to hurt me and make me sad and cry.  Causing me to shut down inside, smile on the outside and carry on with the mask on.

Not to say that I have not been doing work.  Lord knows I have!  I could not just pick up and trust a stranger, although I do respect him, love his photography, and his insights.  When I last saw him prior to this vacation from weekly meetings, I was working on how to get out in the world and connect with people, socialize and become involved.

I faced my fears and got involved in living life and volunteering and making friends.  I am a giver, so it is easy to "do" things.  It is less difficult to know how to make friends wisely for me.  I am most definitely a magnet of some kind to people who I would be wiser not having as friends, and for the most part I do okay, but finding like minded people who are honest, fun, not judgemental, not takers, users or accusers of things that basically have never been in my genetic makeup, is not easy.

I will admit that I have failed, to some extent on understanding the difference between judging people and assessing people.  Two different things apparently, and if you assess people, you are not judging them  ~ I guess there is a difference, though I think and still do that judging people is bad, so I have to learn how to assess a little better!

I have met some great people and have had some awesome experiences over the past two years.  I have done things, and gone places that in my younger days I would never have considered myself doing (normal people activities).    Going to plays, concerts, meetings to network, volunteering where I am needed, all things outside of my comfort zone.  Let's face it, to be honest, when you live your life invisible, it is quite a contrast to be visible again.

I have felt myself isolating and shutting down over the past couple of months.  Feeling the walls come up and trying to close me in, shut me away.  Censoring myself, listening to those negative voices and believing that those old tapes were real and true.  Accepting responsibility all over again for things that were beyond my control and which I do not have the right to accept responsibility for, nor am I obliged to.

I apologize to you faithful readers, who have still been reading.  I got lost ~ thought I was in the clearing again, and then I walked right off the path into a darkness that prevented me from writing and sharing.  I thought "What is the point?" "Why bother?" "Who cares???"

The point is, I enjoy writing.  I bother because people take the time and read and comment and I might add, only nice and positive comments ~ thank you!  Because I enjoy seeing my numbers go up, and tracking the different countries who are participating in my journey.  It gives me energy and strength and more strength when I am low and I ask for support and you give it.

"I AM STRONG" is something I know, but I forget when I am buried in the darkness.  When only a little light twinkles through and I do believe, because I have been a fighter since I came into this world two and a half months early, and overcoming all that has been put before me since that day, alone or with allies, for whatever purpose I am intended to be here for!

I am no quitter, so I am just here to say that I plan on finding my purpose, doing the work that it takes to find what works to make me happy, content and joyful.  Besides, I have not completed my New Year's Resolutions yet, I still have the big final one to go.  I may be down, but I am not yet out!

So thank you for caring.  It is unusual for me to have so many people - besides my children I gave birth to - who do care.  I had learned how not to care myself to some degree, but I find that I do care and I do need the love and caring energy which I get from those of you who do care!  Thank you all for caring, commenting and sharing!


Tuesday, May 21, 2013

SHAKING IT UP

I finally got more than a minute today to stop in and visit Google +, look at some cool pictures and talk to some old and new friends alike.  They (Google) have been busy since I last had a minute to spend there, and I must say, I think I like the changes.  Everything is  not flying at you a million miles a second!

I restructured my day today and read a 260 page book before I got on the computer.  I could not put it down "The Silent Land" by Graham Joyce was such an engrossing story that I could not put the book down. It is the third book of his which I have read, and I can say that "How to make friends with Demons" which I read yesterday flowed just as easily!

Yesterday, we also had a visit from one of my sons school chums whom we have not seen in about 4 years at least.  He had gone to Cali and attended college and has now found his way back to us through my adopted daughter.  It is kind of weird in a way, ( a good weird!).

So many flashes from the past ~ near and far flitting back into my little world.  Fond memories, new stories, different and exciting adventures, dreams and possibilities!  I love the many positive aspects floating back into the balance of my life reminding me that good and bad times are all just temporary and ever changing.

I like that.  After some of the experiences which I have lived through and around ~ weaving their way into my psyche changing the way I think and feel about things ~ bringing me to places and memories I do not want to be or see since I have been back in my hometown, it is nice to have more than old happy memories ~ something tangible like interactions with people from times much more welcome to remember reinforces hope.

One of my sons is very surprised that I am reading three books a week.  When he woke up and I told him I had finished the last book he thought I was telling tales myself.  I really surprised him when I said I used to read 8 or 9 books a week before children.

I am not sure why this information surprises him, considering my personal library which is just a fraction of what I have read over the years.  Since my accident as well, it was difficult to focus and retain information which really did suck.  I forgot how delightful it is to devour a good story!

Reading is important whether you hold a book, tablet, newspaper.  Go old school though, there is nothing like the pleasure of getting comfy and holding a book, turning the next page anticipating the next word to fall in place!

That is my lecture for the day!  Have a great one and thanks for reading!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

IT'S NOT FRIDAY??!!??

Wow ~ it is only Thursday!  I was just thinking that I had a great time for a Friday night and realized I was mistaken!  My feet are killing me after walking up and down North Street five or six times, listening to amazing music, drumming, singing and the people filling both sides of the street, not to mention the sidewalks!

The weather was amazing.  You could not ask for a better time!  I saw and spoke to more people between 5:00 to 7:45 than I have in a long while.  People whom I do not normally see and speak to since school days, people who I share many special and amazing memories with.

One young girl came up to me near the end of the evening walking a dog and with her young man.  She asked me if my name was Jennifer, which it is, and she told me her name.  I knew who she was immediately, although she was very young when I last saw her ~ 19 years or more have passed.

When my second son was born, I was put into my room with a girl I was friends with, and had gone to school with.  We hadn't seen each other in some time.  It was fun seeing her, rooming with her, and her sweet pink bundle.  This little baby used to make a musical sound when she was sleeping, I can't describe it, but it was so beautiful!

We remained friends for some time, a couple of years or more, so it is really amazing this young woman remembered me at all!  She and everyone who took the time to stop and share hugs and memories were exactly what life is all about!

I guess that is a benefit of living in the place you grew up in, it sure was fun and exciting for me.  It truly makes me feel blessed and that is why I love Third Thursdays the best ~ and being able to walk in the middle of the street that is!

I returned home, and my sons friend had come down from Williamstown  ~ one of my sons, so to speak.  We have been visiting and laughing, and now we are eating pizza and playing video games on the new television ~ which is amazing by the way!

So much fun in one day!  I got a few loose ends tied up and now have my summer schedule for volunteering pretty much wrapped up as well!  The things that work out just by being out in the world ~ you have got to love it!

Congratulations seem to be in order for T.N. on his upcoming wedding!  May you and your future wife share all the love, warmth and happiness that life has to offer!  Thank you Wendy for sharing that with me today.  I do love when people are in love!

I had a question asked of me by a reader regarding whether or not I write fiction. First of all, thank you for the question.

I would just like to say that I don't or rather have not written anything in a very long time of any nature.  This blog is the most that I have written in a long time.  I do have a story in me somewhere, but having a story and putting it on paper are two different things.

I am currently working on two different writing projects along with this blog.  I am making progress to some degree.  I am working it out in my head, reading other writers, getting my voice and trying to figure it out, which is to some degree why I have been so negligent in my daily writing.

I would also like to welcome my two newest followers who snuck in there on me!  Welcome and thank you!  I have been amazed and touched deeply by the readers, the followers and all of the different countries everyone comes from!  You give me the energy and the confidence to find my way through my writing.  I feel blessed everyday by the connection!

I have to get back to the boys now, but thank you all again!  Have a great day and thanks for reading!



Wednesday, May 15, 2013

FAST MOVING DAYS OF MAY

I hope everyone is doing well.  I know I am managing with my new outlook quite well.  I cannot believe how quickly the month is moving along, halfway through now.  I have been quite busy in my day to day activities, indoors if the weather is not up to par.

I caught a little spring cold the other day by thinking it was warmer than it was on top of getting stuck in a torrential downpour the other day.  I have been enjoying my downtime reading and enjoying catching up with season two of Downton Abbey.

Also, the wonderful extra time my middle son has been spending with the family has been most welcome and refreshing.  As the boys grow up, I cannot begrudge them their lives, but I do appreciate the time which we spend together.

I saw all three of my boys on Sunday over the course of the day.  My eldest son came for a visit and gave me a Hemp book to write in.  It is so nice, I wonder if I will ever use it!  "For your writing" he said to me.  I am delighted to be encouraged in such a way.  He is a man of few words for sure, but the sentiment and encouragement was there.

My middle son and his father surprised me with a visit right around dinner time.  My son carrying in a box under his arm, to my shock and disbelief ( and through teary eyes) he gave me the most modern television set that I have ever owned, a flat screened 32 inch television set with HD.  I was so shocked ~ more so by the fact that through my tears, he let me hug him without hesitation, which he quite doing many moons ago!

I had to leave the room and regroup for a minute, I was so overwhelmed with emotion!  I am not used to it, and am a little embarrassed by my tears, feeling like a silly, emotional girl.  I can handle just about anything difficult, it is the feel good happy moments which I have the most difficulty with!

I cleared off the top of my old huge cabinet t.v. which takes at least two of us to move, even on wheels, and they went to work putting the base on and connecting wires and setting up the screen size.  It is a marvel of a t.v.  Very clear and sharp.  Now I will have to rethink my entertainment area, as the top of the old t.v. held the stereo system.  More rearranging for me ~ which as we all know is something I just love to do!

Out of all of the gifts, the present that I loved most was the time spent with my sons.  They could have just arrived empty handed and I would have been okay with that, although I would have loved to see my daughter in law and granddaughter who were at home doing crafts.

With the cool down of temperatures the only thing I have been missing this week is my morning sun time sitting on the deck working on my tan.  I know that once we kick into warm temperatures it will be a welcome time and I will be very content to be in my yard on my deck.

I have not seen the  crazy squirrel which my neighbors semi-domesticated yet this year.  He did not come out and make his presence know yet...I am sure he will if he made it through the winter.  If he did not, I am sure that crazy neighbor of mine will domesticate another one!

This week marks the return of Third Thursday ~ where our main street is shut down and they have bands and vendors, shows and activities.  I cannot wait!  Looking so forward to resuming yet another new tradition.  I have been looking forward to this all winter!  I get to hear so much local music throughout the season of all types.  On top of the Artwalks, this is my second favorite thing to do.

Hope you all are enjoying May!  It seems to me it will be over in the blink of an eye at the rate my days are passing!  Be sure to have a great day and count your blessings and be thankful!  I know I am!






Saturday, May 11, 2013

SIMPLE PLEASURES

I have been terribly neglectful with my writing this month, and for that I do apologize.  I have been having some amazing insights into life, people, outlooks, setbacks, progress and self over the previous few months.  Along with waiting for the weather to give me something to look forward to with the arrival of the warmth and the growth on the planet and looking inward pulling things together and accepting the positive characteristics within myself and those around me instead of fretting with those worrisome negatives and always adjusting my perspective.

Spring and it's arrival have been slow, and I must admit that I was getting very edgy waiting for it's arrival, which is never good.  I barely ever get stir crazy after a long and cold winter.  It took me by surprise.  Shut me down for a bit, but it did have it's benefits.  (The long winter and stir crazy, I mean.)

I have been utilizing many distraction techniques, one of my long lost favorites ~ reading.  Absorbing so many different writers, worlds, characters, trying to get in my minimum two books a week, which is really much less than I used to read in my heavy reading days.  I have really enjoyed the distraction and the shift in my focus.  It also has kept me off of the computer, which is something of a blessing.

It is easy, in my experience to get bored with excess.  For me, I have been dissatisfied with interacting with my usual old distractions of backgammon and as of late some serious computer solitaire which although it is competitive ( I am hugely competitive I am finding, something I never realized ~ love to win!)  Getting ever closer to the top 1000 nationally from an almost 3000 beginning rank.  I am not too proud to count that as an accomplishment, I will take them where I can get them these days!

Me and boredom do not make good bedfellows.  To say the very least, I also am  very aware of that.  Even though I have a million projects going on at one time usually, it is very easy for me to get bored and then get negative on myself, I do not need others help in tearing me down.  I do that quite well all on my own.

I have been fortunate to have been out in the world, and nature and traveling around the County, seeing with fresh eyes people, places and things which have been unattainable to me over the past five years in my self imposed prison.  It is very refreshing and invigorating to see places which used to be familiar, very familiar, and looking at them with a whole new set of eyes.

Just yesterday, I visited a local attraction, one I have visited at least forty times throughout my life; Balance Rock. Where the road is just as bad as it always has been, the big rock balancing on another is covered with fresh coats of paint and taggings.

Having climbed this beast most recently two years ago for my middle son's 21st birthday, kind of a family field trip, it was a requirement that we did so.  It was a bit tricky, it used to be so easy to get a holding and climb easily up the rock, but then again, I was much younger and not dealing with physical disabilities previously, doable with effort.  I passed on the effort yesterday.

Instead, I walked around the great beast and looked around from the back of it, into the woods, and around it.  The difference I noticed yesterday was the swarm of larger rocks around the main attraction, like large hulking whales in a sea of trees, frozen, moss covered and in rest.

I wonder how I had never noticed these hulking masses of rock, lurking outside and around?  They are less marked with graffiti, fortunately, others have been remiss in noticing them as well.  With the birds chirping and all of the new greens all around me, it was quite peaceful.  It made me regret not always having my camera on me as well!

There is something about rocks. I am not sure what it is for me personally.  I have a huge rock collection, some picked up to mark an outing, specifics forgotten, like finding shells at the beach (of which I have a huge collection as well), my children were fond of giving me rocks as well, and once in Lanesborough, a friend took me down a road where  if you look hard enough you can find rocks which are like glass and of varying colours.  On that journey, my friend found me an amazing turquoise blue rock, quite unlike the purples and greens which are more common.

I used to have two large and favourite rocks behind my house I grew up in, next to the river where I would go to get away and think, write and draw, one of my best was the floating rock (mentioned previously, when I slid off into the freezing water ~ not my best experience with that rock on that day!!!)  I love that one most, because water swept around it, and the sound of the water was so comforting at times when I needed it most, in my solitude.  The second was a large flat "sandstone", sitting on top of the water next to a crop of cattails.

I remember when the spring came to New Ashford, and the boys went out into the river, moving great beastly rocks and making me beautiful waterfalls down our part of the stream.  Beautiful to look at, a lot of work to make.

My favourite morning activity was to make my tea and go down to the river and sit on a chair of above ground roots next to a great pool of water where you could cross if you were careful, but where I sat and woke to the tinkling of the brook and the sounds of the birds and the butterflies flitting around saying good morning.  My dog with me, nestled in a cave under a massive maple tree, which lived and grew, although the soil had long been swept away over the years.

That is the life I left far and away not by my choice, to me, it was priceless and difficult to walk away from and from which I am still in mourning.  I know time heals all wounds and I do have my memories, but still and all, city life is really not the same ~ does not even come close!!!

I am grateful that I have those old memories, I feel so privileged to have enjoyed those years of peace and tranquility and happiness.  I am not a quitter and am working on my goals and learning to figure out ~ before it is too late, what it is that would enhance my life and what makes me smile and feel better which even as simple as the discovery of new sights in an old attraction which have been there for 100's of years at least!  Small pleasures ~ great treasures!

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

LOVING THE SUN!

I have always loved the sun.  I don't care that it is bad for me.  I could sit in the sunshine all day long!  People complain it is too hot, when it only has just begun and they were complaining ~ waiting for the warmth of the sunshine!

I was out on my deck today for a few hours finishing off the end of another good book.  In my pajamas  with my extra large tea cup, the windows open inside ~ mixed cassette on the stereo worshiping the three things I love the most, Lipton Tea, the sunshine and a very good ending to a story.

The book was not as quick reading as the previous books which I have read.  A very in depth account of two families in the banking industry over a span of time, children, money, inheritances, English titles, scandal, but in the end, a very great tale.

I really enjoyed the way the author developed her characters as she went back and forth in time, solving the mysteries of their parents, their secrets, the effects and the way the children thought as they grew and learned  ~ quite interesting was "Wicked Pleasures" by Penny Vincenzi.  I do not want to give too much away in case you choose to read it, I do highly recommend it.

I have been having to reserve books lately, and today I picked up "Hemlock Grove" after watching the Netflix 15 episode series, which was quite interesting.  The book is smallish, but I believe I will get a most excellent tan on  my deck reading tomorrow.  I see a better suntan in my future.

It is a good thing my deck does not get sun all day or that is where I would be all the time and nothing would get done!  After walking to the library and picking up my reserve book and another by Penny Vincenzi (sadly it is a second in a series so I have to have them send the one I need in before I read it).

It has been interesting the various styles of writing I am finding by just picking random books off the shelf.  I have my favourite authors, whom I am sure that I am behind on Anne Rice, Terry Pratchett, Stephen King, Anne McCaffrey and the Dragons of Pern - my first collection thanks to my Uncle Mike, and my Uncle Matt who used to buy me a Stephen King or an Anne Rice book for Christmas every year (which I still do have to the disdain of my children every time I move and all the books.)

I had explored a little a few years back, while trying to catch up with my childhood fav's and checked out Stephen King and Anne Rice's sons respectfully, and they were both very interesting authors and seemed to inherit their parents skill for writing, but their own styles and voices completely.

My son brought home an audio book of Stephen Kings "Lisey" and we have been enraptured in the tale.  I read it when it was new so it has been years, it is also different hearing someone tell a story instead of hearing the characters as you are reading.  We had to stop on chapter 6 so that I could do some chores and finish preparing dinner.  

So I have been busy, even though I have been neglectful of my actual writing ~ I have been working on it in other ways.  I must go reserve that other book now before dinner is ready ~ just a little pork roast stuffed with garlic and seasoned with lemon pepper with some baked potatoes and some amazing green beans my son made with onions, garlic and not one but two habanero peppers left over from last night ~ hot is not the word for them, but delicious certainly is in my mind!

Have a great day ~ enjoy the sun, read a book and don't forget to smile!


Saturday, May 4, 2013

EVER CHANGING SEASONS



Pussywillows

Spring has finally hit the Berkshires.  No more up and back down to the 30's (which, in  my mind does not Spring make!)  I picked my first wildflowers yesterday and have a nice little vase full of violets.  Around here they grow almost as quick as the dandelions!

I have been pretty involved in the outside world the past few days, at the ranch, my deck chairs are out and my windows have been opened airing winter out and bringing the yummy freshness of spring air inside ~ a very welcome change!

I am grateful to have my vision back via new glasses.  It is so nice to be able to see again!  I was able to see my oldest and best friend ever while I was out doing errands the other day.  He kidnapped me and took me up to the State Forest.

We always used to spend a great deal of time at the State Forest many moons ago.  Not much has changed but it was very nice to get away from the blacktop, sit on a hill in the sun and walk barefoot in the grass away from the cars, noise and very hot city.

It was also nice to see my old friend again.  He has been my friend since I was a mere girl of 17 or 18, minus the previous 6 years or so.  I am happy to report that our friendship was not altered one bit and it is like no time had passed.  We are both the same as we ever were, a bit grey in the hair, perhaps, but still the same people.  That is one of the great things about being yourself all of the time.  You don't have put on airs, or alter yourself, or remember who you used to be if you are the same.

It was refreshing and absolutely one of the better things that have been happening in my life.  Some positive reinforcement if you will.  We took a ride to the top of the mountain and it was so peaceful and relaxing, talking and listening to the tree branches knocking together in the breeze, looking at the sea of mountain ranges above the tree covered hills.

The buds are popping on the trees and we both were surprised at what pussy willows look like before they are soft and fluffy white buds.  I had to take a picture of the stunning bush, and upon closer examination, realized it was a pussy willow bush!  I cannot wait to go back up and get some fresh ones later in the week after they turn!

Last night was the first anniversary of First Friday Artwalk.  I was accompanied by my friend Sunday, as we explored the art studios and galleries, and visited with a couple of local artists.  After she left me, I ran into my old high school art teacher, Mr. Bennet, who was showing his amazing abstract paintings.  If you recall from last month, I got to see his less familiar landscapes, and as beautiful as they are, for me, his abstracts are what I most closely associate with him!

I had an excellent inspirational chat with him, between the throng of people coming to check out his work.  I forgot, you see, that I used to be an artist of sorts, and we both agreed that I should definitely get back into art in some way, shape, or form.  I for one am excited to go into my art and craft supplies (I only have 10 different bins of supplies) and see if I can't pull some creative energy out from deep inside myself.  I am looking forward to it for sure!

I am so glad this winter finally ended and that I have made it through that last shift of whatever the universe was throwing my way!  It almost had me in its clutches!  I hope you all are doing fine!  If not ~ be strong and remember ~ this too shall pass!


Spring buds