Friday, July 31, 2015

ANOTHER SHARE FROM GLIPHO FOR MY NON GLIPHO FOLLOWERS

For my Blogger readers who cannot access my Glipho Blogs:


GLIPHS

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I have 487 Gliphs here on Glipho who is shutting down their wonderful site on August the 14, which for me sucks!  I have now decided that I will not be happy unless I reach 500 Gliphs before that date.  
I am not sure where to begin and may go catch up on my writing challenges which I missed over the course of the 8 months I was without my computer and with Richard and unable to write.  I will miss those weekly writing challenges, those chapter writings and everything else I have done here on glipho.
Most of all I will miss the wonderful community of writers!  I have noticed more Google followers and hope that they are coming from here!  
I can always be found @ http://gclawdia.blogspot.com/ and my email will always be GClawdia@aol.com.  Feel free to friend me, write to me and keep in touch!  I already miss Glipho and they haven't gone yet!
Many thanks to Roger for starting up the sight and trying his best to keep it going!  I have had a fantastic three years and have discovered my love of Fiction writing as opposed to just LiveJournal and sharing my real life stories.
Who knows - maybe someday I will write something worth publishing and then I expect each and everyone to buy a book!  ;)  Fingers crossed that WILL happen  (writing the book, although it would be nice if I do if everyone of you buys it!)

The challenge continues, and so do I continue the Challenges - 

Here is the first post to achieve my goal of 500 gliph total before Glipho shuts down:





AFTER THE SNOW

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Summer is coming!  Summer is coming!  It had been 20 years since the sun had shone and the grass and flowers had grown.
We danced with glee as we saw the signs of spring - warmer temperatures, little snippets of green poking through the ground - frozen for so long.
The younger children looked at us as though we had lost our minds.  They had no idea what Summer was or what we were so excited about.  They had lived their entire lives blanketed in the cold and snow which had covered the land for such a long time.
They were scared as the whiteness had disappeared - being all that they had known.  Worried it was the end of the world!  They had no concept of warm sun, walking around in green grass barefooted without the need for warm clothing and shoes, without wind and snow.
They were in for a treat!
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ANOTHER DAY IN THE LIFE ADVENTURE!

Being involved in the Art World is so much fun for me.  I love meeting Artists, grouping their work together and sharing it with the world (in this case who ever has the time and energy to go to the Whit).

Since beginning in February with Richard Britell at the Whit I have learned so much about Art, and organization.  I spend about 35 hours a week now, gathering info, contacting artists, doing paperwork, planning for the next two months, and Art Talks. It gives me great pleasure indeed.

My life would be less fulfilling if I wasn't doing what I am learning that I love to do.  It makes me very sad, however, that when I put together great shows, the lack of support and attendance for the Whit.

It would be nice if the Gallery had some hours that people would be able to view the Art, but the art is just a backdrop for all of the wonderful music events which is the primary focus of the Whitney Center for the Arts.

Yesterday I went to Hudson to pick up one of my artists for the art talk, having been told the night before the Director would not be there and I would have to be there for 5:00 p.m.  Fortunately Dan Rupe is as flexible as he is awesome and was able to adjust his schedule to be picked up earlier so we would be on time to be there to open the doors and meet Eileen Murphy arriving from New York City.

Arriving back from Hudson for the talk with Dan in hand (or car) we had to stop at my house so I could get out of my traveling clothes and freshen up.  I was grateful I had found time to do the dishes and tidy up the kitchen before I left.

I produced some iced coffee and went into the living room to tidy up and deposit Dan in the A.C. with my Dad while I got ready.  Ghazi had phoned my home and when I called him back I found that he WAS going to be there so that canceled out the need for us to be there to open the doors.

It had been a crazy day, arriving at the top of Warren Street in Hudson, stopped at a red light, I heard the blasting of a train horn, and was wondering why it sounded so loud.  I was at the front of the line and my Dad was saying "Train" but it wasn't registering.

At last it registered that there was a train on my right and I was between the two white lines ( a little close for the train, and my Dad pointed that out as I backed up a few minutes, shut off the car and wondered who puts train tracks in the middle of the road in a city without a barrier arm?!!!??

The train passed and I found a parking space, fed the meter and showed my Dad the wonderful world of Warren Street, Carrie Haddad Gallery, Carrie Linden and Lena, and Nolita the best little Cafe with Jennifer warmly greeting me and asking how it's going - where they have the best and very reasonably priced menu..  We returned Reggie Madison's art pieces from the Assemblage Show and visited a few minutes with him.

I am loving Hudson even more than I did the first visit there with Richard which seems so long ago, but in reality was only a year ago.  It is even more fun without him, truth be told, as I have been meeting and making the acquaintances of many good people, artists and gallery owners and the general population as well.

We were early and with time to kill, so after walking my Dad up and down Warren Street and before the meter expired, we made it back to the car and did an exploratory trip around town while it was raining.

I wanted to go home the same way I came through NY and not Great Barrington, something I have not previously succeeded at, so I wrote down all the roots so I could backtrack and yesterday I did a test run and finally figured out my mistake, which saves an extraordinary amount of time cutting out that piece of it.

On the way back to get Dan I had to stop for another train - go figure - two in one day, where I had only had that experience once about 15 years ago in Lee.  We laughed, Dad and I, as the arm fell and the train passed, clearly seeing and hearing the train this time!  It finally passed and we still were early so I decided to take a drive down to the train station.

I saw a sign for the Hudson - Athens Lighthouse and after a few minutes finally found the very unclear marked path to it's location.  It was nice to see the actual subject matter of a couple of Dan Rupe's paintings I had shown in July.

We learned that Thursday night isn't really a good night for art talks, judging by the size of the audience.  I don't really think Summer is a good time for art discussions actually considering the abundance of events going on here, but that is just my opinion.

Eileen and Dan were great sports and very thoughtful and entertaining with their answers and all and all it was a good event.  Eileen bagged up her work and her Dad had to take her to the train so she could head back to NYC.  I was very happy to meet her and look forward to seeing how she progresses in her creativity!

We took Dan's work and loaded it in my Dad's car, picked up Thomas and headed back to Hudson to return Dan and his works back to his lovely home.  It was sad saying goodbye, but I know it is not forever!  Dan is and always will be my favorite Queen!  I loves him!!!

He has a great show of his Marilyn works up in The Rose Gallery at 238A Warren Street (we stopped in for a minute) and I got to meet Nancy Cobean the Director, as she was walking out the door, and back in to chat with Dan, my Dad and myself.

Dan's show opened on the 17th and will be up for a while longer - Marilyn looks marvelous in the window and adorning the walls on the right side of the room, while amazing colorful painting adorn the left side!  I hear tell of a rumour that the Marilyn's might make their way to NYC for a show!!!

That will be an event not to be missed so as Dan and I hugged our farewells before hitting the road back to Mass, I told him to keep me posted and I would see him there for his opening!  Putting it out there into the atmosphere.

Two more pieces of work to procure before the day is out - by three everything will be in the building and I can begin to plan my strategy.  The Women's Show is going to be great!  I picked all of my favourite Pittsfield and surrounding areas artists to celebrate Women!

Ghazi asked me last night what my favourite piece was in the show - you know I couldn't answer that, how could anyone?  When you pick your favourites from your favourites they are all my favourites!

Autumn Doyle created two new magnificent photographs for the show.  Each are excellent - one shows a fierce huntress and one shows a Goddess - which are perfect!

Susan Aldam has a piece of Women Dancing in abstract form which I love!

Jackie Kearns - well she was one of my first choices for the May Show with Michael Rousseau and Douglas Paisley, but due to scheduling conflicts couldn't participate - so I was excited to get a yes for the Women's Show!

Each and everyone of the twelve women I chose for this show do different styles and use different mediums.  I am so very excited to be presenting each and every women and each and every piece!  I was delighted with the excellent responses and I hope I can do their works justice in my layout! 

Thursday, July 30, 2015

WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

In life there are times when we find ourselves in situations that at first seemed good, fine and worthwhile.  Over time, even though the joy and fulfillment are there, you have to assess the cost and factor in what you put in and what you get back.  Sometimes the cost is move expensive than the fulfillment and effort.

If you are anything like me, then you might find yourself giving all you can give only to have people place more responsibility on you to have less on themselves to the point that they stop doing anything for themselves and for their primary responsibility which they have graciously dumped on you.

I find myself in two situations like that now.  One is quite different than the other, a duty rather than a fulfillment, and the other is quite possibly the most fun and affirming thing (except raising my children) that I have ever done, to date, in my life.

As I look over these two situations I find myself realizing that one on it's own is just as bad as the other, complete with the realization that people will just take, take, take and expect that you will give all that you have instead of drawing the line.

Each situation has become too expensive.  The only thing I can do now is figure out a way to lessen my involvement, lay down boundaries or demand (sounds harsh) that things change and find the fulfillment elsewhere.

As I consider the time and effort in each situation, it pains me that those who are shall we say benefiting, instead of being thankful and appreciative are expecting more and giving less, I wonder how people can be so cavalier about using another person to such extreme lengths with just a thank you (if that)?

I recently read that there are Vampires, (vampires are a theme throughout my life)  just not the blood-sucking ones that are portrayed in the movies, the real life vampires suck the life right out of you, draining you until you are empty while they fill up on your energy take away everything inside you until you are nothing but a shell.

I used to romanticize vampires, and want to be a vampire, with great powers of persuasion and abilities (not really into the blood sucking though), enhanced by Anne Rices books which I devoured when I was a teenager (and still love to this day).  Now days I don't really want to be a vampire, but I sure could use some repellent!

So the question remains, what to do about these nasty vampires who are sucking my life out of me?  The time has come to look inside myself and accept that the takers are taking too much and changes need to be made despite the cost.

I feel I have paid my dues and repercussions be damned.  If it means I am the bad guy, the enemy, the asshole, whatever word one wants to call me, I guess I am almost ready to accept it, almost.  I am not willing to give my life to people who do not appreciate me all in the name of Love.

Now, you might be thinking "Good for you" but the hard part is really after the awareness, leaving the denial behind, and finding ways to just say NO.  Ultimately I am responsible for what I take on and I am equally responsible for fixing what I have allowed to happen.

As of this day, I am making a public pledge to myself to untangle myself from these ludicrous people who are sucking the life and livelihood out of me.  I hope that the repercussions in my head are worse that the reality will be, but all in all I will be the one to gain and lose.  In the long run I think it is the only way I can live with myself without wanting to jump off of the highest building in the city!

So today, as I wake up, assess and take care of business, I mark my calendar and set my limits and voice them clearly to all involved, because, after all, I am the only one who knows when I have reached my limit and when ENOUGH is ENOUGH!

I don't look forward to what comes next.  I will be hated once again, I will be talked about by people who don't know what they are talking about and judged by those who are the very people who are doing the taking.

They are not important in the grand scheme of things.  They are just like me, puppets in this life.  I am cutting the strings and breaking free of my puppet masters.  It is time.  Wish me luck and keep me in your prayers because this is going to be one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my entire life, and I have had to overcome major difficulties.  It is time to take my life back!

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

FAITH, WONDERFUL FAITH!

Despite the worries of the past couple of days, which of course today look very small in light of the whole big picture of life, one grain of sand, caught in the corner of my eye - rinsed out so now I can see clearly once again.

I am balanced, feet planted firmly on the ground where they need to be, no desire to run away or jump off the highest building in our City (which I would never do, by the way).  Realizing what I know to be true, that I am human and sometimes I lack faith and my resolve gets weakened.

Lucky to have wise women and men around me who are compassionate and who give me the strength I need when I am weakening, and blessedly learning to accept from others instead of being alone and feeling so helpless.

Today I am waking up with a new outlook, new day, fresh slate.  I must say, however that yesterday, I tried, but every now and again I feel into despair, not drink a shot kind of despair, since we all know it is not good to drink when you have troubles on your mind.  Last night I had to force myself to go to the Astronomy Talk but by the time I left I was back to my self.

I went home and Dad was asleep, fed, and medicated with the correct medicine, Thomas had fed him and had a plate for me, but I was too tired to eat dinner.  He tried to "parent" me, but I won out in the end.  I am sure he was okay with that, since by morning he had eaten my dinner (no leftovers yeah!)

I put out the garbage for this morning last night, and came in to find that my friend Gene (who is also one of my Garbage Men) had messaged me to remind me to get my garbage out, which was very nice indeed.  I was planning on sleeping past 7 a.m. since I was up at 5 the day before and have a busy day today meeting 5 wonderful women Artists for my August Art Show at the Whit.

What made me realize last night how little the problem that bugged me two days ago, which I gave way too much power to, was realizing how small we really are in light of the whole universe, looking through the telescope seeing so clearly planets which can't be viewed with the naked eye, realizing we look back in time to see things which are light years away and have to wait 1000 years to see an event which happened already but which won't be visible to us until then.

Sounds confusing doesn't it.  I am amazed myself, and hope it is coming through and not just confusing you, Basically, what is - is, what happens-happens and all that is important is our reactions.  Mainly I was mad at myself more than anything.  Looking at the biggest picture of all- the entire universe, we are small indeed, and it is vast and huge and seemingly endless and it goes on, runs its cycle which is life, death and transformation, but it is Awe Inspiring and we just need to look and see and be filled with wonder.  I choose to keep my eyes, brain and heart filled with awe and wonder.

Burdened with FAILURE.  I hate to fail, whether it is my own life or in assisting someone else.  In this case, my failure to explain basic info to my Dad so that he can understand it to make his life easier in the long run.  All I did was get upset with him and myself, when it turns out the whole thing was based on misinformation.

Another pet peeve - if you are a professional, do your job, do it right the first time.  I hate that, and yes, I will always hate that, as I am a person who tries to do my best always.  Energy is important and wasting it doing a job wrong the first time is unacceptable to me.  I don't have enough time or energy to waste either one!

So, now I am all good, as the saying goes.  I have been rewarded today with my change in outlook already.  I can move forward in my day and into the next month with the grace, confidence and attitude I need to survive to fight another day.

I am truly blessed and it is all because of Faith, attitude and outlook.

Monday, July 27, 2015

"INTO EACH LIFE SOME RAIN MUST FALL"

Green Heart Quilt - Crispina Ffrench

"Into each life some rain must fall." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Today was that day for me.  Granted it was 80 degrees, humid as hell and not a rain cloud in the sky.  From the instant I awoke to a quiet house, going downstairs to find the stove clock off, not noticing that the bathroom light came on, walking back up stairs to get my phone for some light to flip the fuse down cellar.  Noticing the light came on when I flipped the switch - meaning I did not blow the fuse I thought - walking across the kitchen to make sure the freezer hadn't melted in the 6.5 hours when the power went out (I know this by the stove clock which began flashing again.)

In my confusion I went down cellar to check the fuses, even though all the lights were on and everything was okay.  I made my tea and sat down at my computer and began to write.  Feeling out of sorts for no particular reason makes me uneasy.  I know deep down that something will happen, but I had no apprehension as I wrote and woke up.

I had an early appointment with Leigh Palmer and his wife, who is also an Artist, unbeknownst to me.  They were having an Art Day in the Berkshires and I felt honored they were coming to check out my show at the Whit. Granted Leigh is in the Show, along with Eileen Murphy and Dan Rupe thanks to Carrie Haddad being such a wonderful Gallery owner and sharing her Artists with me at the last minute due to a last minute cancellation for our July Show.

It was nice to get such great feedback from the Palmers'.  They spent about a half hour looking and chatting, admiring the lovely building which the Whit is located.  They really boosted my day in a big way and gave me an excuse to dress up a bit as well.

I headed home to see if Dad and Tom had woken up yet.  They are serious sleepers that is for sure.  To my surprise Dad was up having coffee and dressed.  He had slept in the living room on the Air Mattress, so I asked how his night was.  He said he slept well and Thomas didn't disturb him at all during the night with his computer.

Dad has been over doing it on the stairs forgetting that he was told to walk sideways up and down the stairs so we decided that he needed to be on the main floor with the bathroom since remembering important things isn't really his strong suit these days.

I was feeling okay - no disasters - no thoughts of pending doom.  I was actually looking forward to my afternoon with my counselor, who I told last week that he couldn't go away ever again since every time he does my life breaks down in unexpected ways.  It is a good thing he only takes vacation a couple of times a year!

Dad needed to do an errand so we headed off to City Hall and he ran in to drop off some paperwork, decided to check his mail while we were out and that resulted in another stop to drop off more paperwork somewhere else. Still good, but not great - the heat was horrible and the traffic was slow for Pittsfield so that did not help one little bit.

Home, tea, toast and relaxation for the next hour was supposed to be on the agenda.  I got to make the tea, forgot all about the toast however when the first shoe dropped - not my shoe, not my problem, but ripple effects, what effects one person in a house does effect others.  This was indeed the case.  

I am not at liberty to discuss the details of my disdain, since I don't own it and well frankly the only way it effects me is by severely confusing the hell out of me.  Red flags, bells and whistles were waving, ringing and tooting.  I looked at the problem, looked again, got more confused and finally had to leave to go to my appointment - if I had an apron I would have been hiding under it!  As it was I walked to my appointment wringing my hands and talking to myself out loud in public - never good signs.

At times like these, in this mental confusion, it is most difficult for me to only notice the beautiful flowers that .line my way, in times like these, the chipped paint and litter filled streets seep into my view, along with people who are pretending to be nice and sociable but are being stupid mean assholes instead, overshadowing any and all good and beautiful things along the way. (and to make it clear- I do mean you stalker a+*HOLE, who despite blocking you I am sure you are still reading - so be sure you take credit where credit is due, to be clear I do mean you.)

I arrived 20 minutes early for my appointment, sitting in the empty waiting room reading Time Magazine in front of the fan enjoying the solitude and not thinking about what was on my mind, allowing the magazine to have my full attention.  Needing the time.  Appreciating the time and the solitude.

I monopolize more than my hour, something I very rarely do.  Talking and thinking and cursing and cursing some more.  Trying to understand, not just the problem, but what is broken in me,  because ultimately I am responsible for ME, my well being, something which I always put last when there are others more needy than me, and that is all the time without fail.

The only problem is that Counselors do not want to tell you the answer.  They want you to see it for yourself, mine anyway, that is utterly impossible for me to do and it frustrates me even more.  I know my problem, deep down inside.  I hate it and yet, like smoking tobacco I am powerless to stop, despite it being detrimental to my health, heart, spirit and mind.

On the bright side, I am able to recognize the good parts of myself and all the positive work I am doing socially and inter-personally, since I am not allowed to accept responsibility for the insanity of others.  Next I will be carrying a sign that says "NO" if my Doc gets his way, hopefully I will not have to get that extreme.

It is all about the balance, and today, mine got tipped slightly to the dark side.  I left my appointment and headed to the Market Place in hopes of a cup of tea and to my delight a shot of some manageable Tequila (thank you very much)  I do not drink Tequila, or alcohol regularly, it has been since Paul Marshall's memorial service at the Parkside 23 years ago I last drank it;  but felt a much needed desire to get my Dad's car and leave town and never look back, which I haven't done since I was in 10th grade and ran away to Florida,  so the shot was the lesser of two evils.

I had a great conversation with my friend and walked home looking good and getting compliments despite feeling like total shit.  Not even the compliments raised my spirits and I reluctantly walked back to my abode.  Tom was up by that time, having phoned me to see if I got lost as I was later than my normal Monday return.

I decided that nothing could be fixed, understood or changed, other than my outlook so I headed into the kitchen and fried some chicken and made dinner.  Thomas somehow chose some music I would have played if I had made a request, somehow knowing what remedy I needed.  Of course the food was good, but still not the ticket.

I decided to call and get a report on my new grandson, who will be walking before I see him again, I am sure!  My wonderful daughter in law answered and I got the sleep report - still up every couple of hours during the night but doing better.  (I have been telling them to add some cereal into his formula at night, knowing that would do the trick - the boy is his father's son after all!)  They haven't tried it yet, but once it sinks in they might and I know it will do the trick!

They had just come in from a walk around their neighborhood, so I didn't want to keep her, and Declan was  a bit grumpy, I could hear him through the phone.  Lisa asked if I wanted to talk to Ains, who I of course called to speak to really.  

She came to the phone, surprised when I said hello "GRAMMA!" she said when she recognized me (who can be bummed when greeted so enthusiastically???)  She is the light that reignites my light to be sure!  We chatted for a while and then with I love you and I love you too, hugs and kisses, we hung up.

I had forgotten some things at the store so got out of my  p.j.'s I had put on for the comfy feel good feeling and because I wasn't planning on going out again.  For a second I thought there was a play tonight in the Park and I might stop in on that, but tonight wasn't the night - the park only had kids playing in the new water park with parents looking on and young men playing basketball.

The litter and grime from earlier erased and the flowers, babies and puppies back in my view once more, I felt better as I made my way through the Park and down the familiar sidewalks of my hometown.

Then it began to rain, lightly at first, I cut through the church and suddenly it was coming down in bucketfuls.  Instead of freaking out and getting mad, I looked up to the heavens and thanked god for the cleansing rain, needing to wash away the bullshit of my day.

I joined a man in a wheelchair under a tree, but the tree was offering no protection so I made my way to a doorway and lit a smoke and watched the rain fall as I wrung out my soaked black shirt, thankful I had changed out of the black and white dress I had worn earlier in the day.

The sky lightened and the rain slowed.  I made my purchases and made my way back home.  The man under the tree was stuck and waiting for a cabulance as his chair had shorted out from the rain. Reassured he wasn't stranded I went on my way once more, running into my youngest son's father standing dryly under a marquee, laughing as he asked me if I was wet.  I was less wet than I had been 10 minutes before since the humidity was kicked up a notch once more.

I arrived home - Dad had washed the dishes and Tom greeted me warmly.  Both happy I was home and in a strange way I was as well.




DEADLINES AND COMMITMENTS

We made it through week 1 with Dad staying at my house after his 2 month rehab stay where he had to stay off his feet so his hip fracture could heal.  It seemed like a blink of an eye between the Dr. saying he could do weight bearing exercises and go home.

Life has been interesting.  I now am a maid, a nurse and a social director on top of it all!  It is a trip to watch a person be more needy than they really are.  I would laugh, if I had the energy, when I ask where he put his prescriptions and even after looking for three days can't find them although they haven't left the house, but he can tell you how to get to a new casino complete with driving directions which he heard once!

For some reason, my Dad needed to transition at my house.  The only thing he failed in the Occupational Therapy was following directions and filling his pill containers.  That doesn't surprise me.  He is not a person who can follow simple directions.

So now, I fill pill containers, red for morning and white for daytime.  His choice, which should make it simple.  The other night after a musical event I brought him home and headed out to check the last set of a band.  I go home, silly on a glass of wine.

Dad was up in bed and Tom was waiting for me.  "Gramps messed up.  He took his day meds at night"  Thank God for the wine - all I could do was laugh for want of crying.  Glad he didn't have wine while we were out, puzzled that he could make that mistake.

Thankfully, I have Thomas to lend a helping hand.  He has been great in the kitchen helping me cook and always looking out to make sure Grampa is comfortable.  The blind leading the blind sort of, but Tom is a good kid.  The new situation has helped him get out into the world on our weekly back road rides and become an amateur photographer fulfilling two things which have been lacking in his life - going out of the house and a hobby!  He is pretty good too!

This week is going to be a huge test.  Doctors appointments intermingled with two Art Talks, the removal of an art show, the set up of the August Show.  I didn't consider, when working with 12 Artists the magnitude of organization and timing.

I normally have been doing 3 artist shows, but this month we are celebrating women with the College Club bringing their 100 Year Journey to The Whit to be previewed in the Colt Gallery.  I thought it would be fitting to celebrate women in Gallery W and the magic number settled on 12.

The submissions and paperwork are mainly done, still need a couple of prices to complete the label list, go over everything, dot my "i"s and cross my "t"s.  While at the same time in order to fulfill the advertising deadline on August 7 gathering together what I need to present for the September Show.

It really sucks having the deadline the day of the opening, and it wouldn't be so bad if we had a normal year in advance schedule for the Gallery.  But we don't.  As a volunteer "Gallery Manager" complete with business cards, and the only volunteer working on these Art Shows, Art Talks and Gallery I don't think it will happen (the year in advance schedule that is).

This morning one of the Hudson Painters from the July Show is making a trip to town to check out my show, as well as other Venues in the area on the Art Field Trip.  I am honored to meet Leigh Palmer and his wife and get their feedback on the layout and the Whitney as well.  I showed the Art yesterday afternoon and straightened paintings and moved this here and that there in preparation of the visit in hopes of having no surprises this morning when I walk in there.

So I woke up early to be awake and enjoy the solitude of the morning.  Dad is now sleeping in the living room,  I guess he decided to try that out last night since walking up and down the stairs (and not sideways like they taught him) is bothering him.  I say I guess he decided to sleep in the living room as he fell asleep on the mattress with his shoes on watching the game and he is still there this morning.

Poor Thomas, I wonder what state his room was in when he went to bed last night after my Dad has been living in there for 10 days.  I am sure whatever state it is in Tom will manage to get a good night (days) sleep in there regardless.

I can only pray for the strength and energy to make it through this week and the next one to boot.  I can feel the stress creeping up into my shoulders and I am maintaining my composure most of the time and only worrying about 70% of the time, which I am sure will be increasing as the week goes on.

Thank God it is Monday and I get to go purge myself of the stresses of the week and get some tools and feedback on how to handle whatever comes my way over the course of the coming week.  Mental health is a wonderful thing and I plan on keeping mine healthy, if you know what I mean.

As the clock tick tocks and time goes past I have to pray it doesn't move too fast.  Miles to go before I sleep, pray that I don't fall too deep into the whole hole that is surrounding me!

Have a great Monday everyone and thanks for reading.



Monday, July 20, 2015

fear - my latest Glipho writing challenge

fear






   
 
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The zombies stood together, looking at the reactions of the "living" running in  chaotic mad confusion at the sight of the group.  They could not understand what they were seeing, as they did not know they were zombies.

Suddenly, they were getting pelted by bottles, cans, rocks - whatever was within reach.  It took only minutes for them to become the ones running in confusion.  Still they could not understand what they were seeing.

They had been minding their own business, the five of them, one a mere youngster, walking down the street when they came upon a busy intersection.  While waiting for the light to change the scene had begun to unfold.

They ran in fear from the crowd which found them a threat although they had done nothing to invoke such behaviour.  They ducked and darted, at last escaping the crowd. Wondering what  the future would bring.

Sharing another Glipho writing challenge

ANSWERS TO MY PRAYERS

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I held the winning lottery ticket in my hand.  I stared in disbelief as a world of possibilities passed before my eyes.
Jumping up and down with extreme excitement I thought of how wonderful life with be with such a large sum of money.  The answer to my prayers!  The beginning of life as I knew it once before!
Looking around me, as far as the eye could see all I saw were people in more need than me.  I saw a world of good I could do, not just for me, but for you and you and even you too!
A warm feeling filled my heart, as I decided the wisest way to part with some of my loot. Where it would go, and to whom.  I felt good to think I could help end others financial misery.  All at once I heard a bell - the alarm - HOLY HELL!

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

LAKE TIME - SHARING FROM GLIPHO

LAKE TIME

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My grand daughter and her cousin are sleeping over for the second time since baby Declan was born two weeks ago.  When I picked the girls up this afternoon - after the rain, my grand daughter asked if we could go to the Cottage for a swim.
I looked at her and asked her if she had her swimsuit, nope (good thing I only drove 20 feet away), I put the car in reverse and parked.  I asked her cousin if she had her swimsuit - yup.  Ains ran in and out in a flash - beach bag in hand.
She jumped back into her seat and buckled up.  I locked the doors and headed home.  It had just finished raining and steam was rising from the tar on the road along the way.  It was so humid, hot and sticky.  I was hoping my Uncle would say yes.  I knew it would be alright, Ains has him wrapped around his little finger!
We arrived home and I called.  He said yes, so I grabbed a bathing suit and towels for all of us, rolled a few cigs, grabbed the keys and back into the car we went.   I had dropped Tom off earlier at his brothers - eager not to spend the evening with three girls; and then my Dad back at the hospital before getting the girls when the gas light came on, so I knew I needed gas before heading out.
We grabbed some gas and the girls decided to count flags on the way to the Borough.  I enjoyed the drive along once familiar roads, which have once again become a part of my life.  I was lost in my own thoughts along the way and we rode in silence.
Once I pulled into the driveway the conversation began about the flags - one got 16 and one got 19, "did you see those three little ones"; "no did you see..." as they got out of the car gear in hand ready for the lake.
Matt was sitting on the lawn sofa overlooking the dock and the lake as we walked towards him.  We were chatting as we walked, but Ain's told us to be quiet so she could sneak up on him and surprise him.
The girls went into the house to get changed.  Did I mention that Haley had fractured her wrist the day before?  She was allowed to swim but had to be careful not to bump it or use it.  She doesn't have a cast yet but that is next.
Ainsley jumped right into the water, Haley was a bit slower but soon each of them was swimming and laughing in the water.  Just two days before Ainsley would not jump off the end of the dock and today - she did it!
She also overcame her fear of going under the dock, since hitting her head during a swim under there the previous year which she labeled "the worst day of her life" at 7!  I was watching her from shore when she did it and gave her a thumbs up - knowing the significance and she thumbs up me back - smile on her face, happy I had noticed.
The girls had diving masks on and Ainsley's had fallen off her head into the water while she was standing on the dock.  After letting the water settle they began the search.  Of course it was near the end of the dock and it was before Ains jumped off the end so she just felt with her feet near the dock while her cousin swam down with the goggles.
Ains thought she had found them, but when Haley went down it was a broken plastic cup which she tossed aside into the water as I was about to tell her to give it to me.  Instead she tossed it to the right of her.
Just when they were ready to quit Haley went over to where she thought the cup would have landed and stepped on what she thought was the cup in the muck of the lake bottom (always the worst feeling when you step there) she dove down only to come up with the missing goggles which had drifted a few more feet away than I would have expected!
Success and happiness!  They got out of the lake and dried off and got dress as a large cloud formed above us.  I gathered things together and picked up the masks and put them away.  5 ducks swam over and one climbed on the raft that was out by the dock.
I went out on the dock and shooed them away.  Waiting until they were well past the dock before I went back on shore.  No sooner had I got on the grass when they swam back and were headed for the raft again.
I grabbed my keys and went back out on the dock, shaking the keys and shooing them away once more.  making sure they were well away before leaving my position on the dock.  I looked out over the water at the Island and the mountains. 
Once familiar, still familiar.  A feeling of peace fell over me.  I have always loved the tranquility of the lake, the beauty of what is around had always captured my attention and this view is ingrained into my very heart and soul.  It was nice to see and feel it in person once again.
The girls finally came out.  Ains had to help Haley get dressed as she overdid it on the swimming.  It was going on 7 and we still needed to eat.  Ains couldn't remember if there was a grill at the Cottage, or else I would have brought the food with me!
We put the wet towels in the way back and the girls got into the back seat and buckled up as I got into the car and backed out of the driveway, choosing to go around the Park, another place full of memories, although it has changed a lot since I was a kid, no longer was the tree bench between the two pine trees and one of the pine trees was gone as well.
The back seat got awfully quiet as I drove home, choosing to go the quicker way, despite having spotted a frame I could have recycled the other way. I could tell there was some counting going on in the back seat.
We arrived home and the numbers were in the 50's and 60's.  The Borough had had an anniversary and lined the main street with 250 year town Flags and American Flags, so they hit the mother load in Flags. 
The girls mixed up some brownies added peanut butter and licked out the bowl while the brownies cooked.  I threw some burgers and fries on once they were done, mixed up a macaroni salad and we sat down to a feast.
The girls had gotten into their jammies when we got back home.  They were tired and it was already after 9:00 when we ate dinner and called homes to say good night.  They ate a bunch of brownies and were ready for bed.
They are snug as bugs in a rug nestled in my bed sound asleep as I write into the wee hours of the morning.  I said I wasn't going to but here it is 2 a.m. as I finish this off, ready to crawl into Tom's bed and thankful I thought to put one of my pillows in his room earlier.
I do enjoy having the pair of girls.  It means I will be able to sleep a little in the morning.  I need to remember to hide some of the brownies before I go to bed or they will be tweaked on sugar first thing!
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