Monday, August 31, 2015


Fear, let us be clear,
     will pin your feet to the floor,
             leave you insecure
                  never encourage you to do more

               Anger will put you in danger
                           blind your sight so you cannot see
                                      block out all that you could feel
                                                 make happiness not part of the deal  

                                                              Rage will blaze through your mind
                                                                            wasting no time in tearing through
                                                                                      everything which is in front of you
                                                                                            leaving you very blue before it finishes you.

Love, so much better than hate
             makes you feel great is never too late
                       worth the wait, a feeling you can't escape


A blank space in my heart where once you were a part
Fills my brain with pain and confusion whenever I think of the illusion
Hard for me to tell how I fell under the spell of believing, never for a moment aware that you were deceiving

It took a while to walk it off, get over the shock I can't explain to my heart why I allowed it to be ripped apart
Stepping out of my comfort zone, where previously I lived quite happily alone
Mind blown!

I filled my life with endless activity
to enable myself to live in peace and not let anger consume me
It was quite a deed until I could break free of  "you and me as WE"

I walked through the same doors with a different view
Where I will land I have no clue
We all do what we have to do


It is Monday morning, I do not groan about Mondays, I like them.  They are a good day for me, my once a week where I go and get my head put back on straight from all of the things that go on in a week, and some weeks a lot goes on and some weeks not so much.

When I went to bed last night after a nice evening at the Theater with my Dad, followed by a delicious meal which Tom and I prepared together for Dad before watching Ray Donovan and heading over to the Gallery to look at the show  before bringing Dad home.

He liked the show, I am not dissatisfied with it.  I am looking forward to putting the final touches on it when the last two pieces come in on Wednesday.  Not sure where I am going to put them exactly, but that is the fun of finishing the puzzle.

My favorite wall has got to be Morris Bennett's works.  The grouping of his abstracts are amazing, as are his abstracts themselves.  I think it was my Dad's favorite wall as well,

I think my second favorite works in the show are Rob Martin's, although I love all of the works in the show, it is hard to not like the feeling from his oil seascapes.

I had a lot of fun laying out the show and hanging it with the help of Orleans Dave who spent the 6 hours helping me from A-Z.  It was fun to have another person to bounce ideas and layouts with, even though I love doing it myself.

Thomas had fallen asleep on the couch after our Sunday show, so when I returned I found him in the same position.  I did some computer stuff and he woke up while I was at it.  We spent some quality time computing before watching another show so I could go to sleep.  

I went to bed in a fair state of mind, although when I was driving back from my Dad's there was a thing on the radio, a poem to music which was about August and the history of things which happened in August, good and bad, and the weirdness of August, I listened, thinking about the words and truth I was hearing and really related to it.  

I have been feeling a strangeness in the air, which I have placed on the Moon, but perhaps it is just August?  Even as I was listening, I realized I had been feeling something in the air and a shift in myself over the past week, two???  Uncertain when it began, but aware of it's presence.

Waking up this morning, well rested.  I had slept through two texts, glad to have done so since they came at 5 a.m. and I hate mornings.  I was expecting something nice but no, only reality, One good thing is straightforward communication, just not the communication I was expecting!  

I came downstairs to make my tea and the fuse went out so I had to go down in the dark cellar - why is it always the fuse that controls the lights?  For once it would be nice if I could see my way to the fuse box but the microwave is on the wrong circuit for that!

I noticed that someone had been in my cellar.  One thing I hate is people in  my house when I am not here.  I know I ran out of hot water and there was no oil and the furnace may have needed to be primed, but I am sure my house was a mess, having been used all night by two gamers in their mad Diablo release party. Dishes and dirty counter tops and unswept floors... Ah well, the price you have to pay for hot water!

I have a crazy week this week in town and out of town.  I am glad the Art Show is up and just basically needs to be labeled.  I still have a bunch of Art to get back to artists known and unknown which will take some contacting since I haven't heard from a couple of them at all, and some I have no idea who they are from the college club!  It was easier to pick up the entire show from the college, but not so easy getting individuals to pick their work up!

I have two of my Women meeting me today and I will inventory the rest of the leftover art so I can add that to my to do list.  The October Show is not my concern this month but the deadline for the promotional information is Friday - I have no info so I forwarded the email to the Director so he can forward it on to whomever is privy to that info or no advertising will be done. 

Apparently, it is not my problem. Gallery Manager or not.  I guess that is the difference between being an actual gallery manager and just a Volunteer.  The details coming my way have been non existent save for what I have heard from one of the Artists in the next show, which was vague to say the least, 

This is the week I head over to Springfield and see what the surgeon has to say about my current state of being.  By Thursday I think I will be eager to leave this silly city and I hope it will revive my spirits being on the open road and far away.

Depending on how the week goes, I may just have to pop over to Northampton after my appointment just to ground myself and maybe even hit the bookstore instead of the clothing stores - although if I see another great sale on clothes you just never know!  How is a girl to resist cool hippie clothes on a $5.00 sales rack - answer me that if you can?!!?

I have two groups of friends coming in from out of town this week as well.  My bestie from Florida and her husband, whom I have never met are on my calendar as well as one of my favorite people from down South.  The timing can't be better for this crew to come into town!

Of course it means a tighter schedule for me, since I cannot resist getting together with my friends from afar, I predict little sleep on top of everything else going on! Without a doubt this week will be like every other one before it, full of the unexpected.  I eagerly and excitedly am up for the challenge!  I am nothing if not spontaneous and free to be me!

My grand daughter begins third grade tomorrow as well!  My how the time does fly!  I remember when she was a wee lass in her baby seat and her biggest worry was her next bottle.  Now she is growing into quite the young lady!  Before I know it she will be in high school and we will be eating pineapples off the plants we have been growing!

Growth is what it is all about, and I am in a learning and growing phase.  Each day there is something new to learn and adapt to.  Adapt I do, that much is true!  I am off to adapt to myself with a second cup of tea -  have a great day!

Sunday, August 30, 2015


August - what a month!  A month of great changes, with my Dad going back to his house to remember how to live on his own and learn his limits.  I was concerned about the Golf Tournament he was certain he could do, which turned out to be a positive thing for him and he made it through with flying colors despite being the last one to finish the course!

I am glad that he did participate. He was worrying me as he sat in my living room aging and acting like a feeble old man.  "Acting" - the keyword here since he has been home he has been getting into straightening his home and removing some clutter and focusing on his life instead of doing for all of his friends and letting his own obligations fall to the wayside

It must be a trait I have inherited from him as I look around my house and my life and assess and look back at the "To-do"list which got shoved in the dark recesses almost like a page lost behind a dresser.

Between the surgery last year and recovering and not having time as I lived another persons life in my home last winter into the spring, once again my life being consumed by  another and sliding into a place which felt like home, but not in the long run.  We all know how that turned out - not very good at all!

I don't know why when people get in relationships that it is either all of one and none of the other.  Finding the balance is the key I guess.  I obviously never found the balance with Richard and ultimately was living in a huge fantasy world.  Not even realizing just how much so until he walked out, unable to change and mold me into the woman he wanted me to be, which was so far removed from the woman I am and who he swore he would love until the end of time.

Eager to jump into that role for the millionth time over the course of my life, I do not find myself.  I do however realize that I am still have a very deep longing to find my mate who I am sure is out there in order to live out the final years of my life not alone, but in harmony enhancing and being enhanced  in a healthy and long lasting mutual growing relationship, as opposed to one person thriving and another dying on the vine.

I took the plunge and agreed to date.  Making a  conscious decision to take that step was not easy for me.  It is seriously outside of my comfort zone.  I find it to be less scary than I had expected.   It fills me with confusion however, as I find it difficult to know what I should be looking out for as far as whistles and bells go.

People are complex, we are all a mass of experiences, expectations, fears and worries.  Even though I live my life and reveal too much, I do have much I keep hidden from myself as well as the outside world, part of those defense mechanisms which have saved my life so many times.

I guess I worry too much, but I am not eager to trust in love and find that it has all been a big charade.  Being 40 something and not having the experience in dating is a huge challenge.  I don't know what the rules are, what the game is, how to play it.  I have never been a big game player.  I hope that old dogs can learn new tricks.  I am sure that we can!

I have been so busy that it leaves me with little time to share myself with the opposite sex.  That is a good thing.  Learning how to take it slow, get to know someone and let them get to know you is a challenge.

One of my son's friends was dating a girl, they got pregnant, she had the baby, he did all of the correct things only to find that she is not what/who he thought.  She turned out to be a pretty evil woman who has caused him nothing but problems and he recently found out the baby isn't even his, yet the problems this woman he loved continue to interfere with his life as he tries to move on into a new and loving relationship.

I for one married a man many moons ago, left town after finally obtaining a divorce, which took longer to get than the marriage, looked over my shoulder for 17 long years only to come back home, be approached by the same man, thinking it was fate and love only to find out it was more of the same crap which I fled town from all of those years before!

Love is such a crap shoot!  It is a wonder there are any happily ever after stories out there!  I miss the days when life was simpler.  (Not my life,. but you know, other peoples lives), people knew who you were and what you were about and you knew who they were and what they were all about, you courted, fell in love and got married, worked together on those bumpy times instead of fleeing at the first sign of work.

I don't know why love, family and relationships are so disposable these days.  I must have been born in the wrong time!  Oh how I long for the simplicity and security that my grandparents and their grandparents seemed to have!  The days when love, honour and commitment were more than words you say, when they were actually treasured!

Ah well.  Here is hoping that my bells and whistles and red flags are in working order as I progress though this strange land I am now finding myself a part of.

Friday, August 28, 2015


I made it through the night of full moon restlessness last night with a rambled post about just about everything under the sun!  When I went to bed I was happy to find an old movie, "The Bishops Wife" with Carey Grant on t.v.  which I listened to as I made it a third of the way exactly through the second book in Kass Morgan's series The 100, which the t.v. shows follows by a thread, but that is creative licensing I guess!  I am enjoying the books as much as what I have seen of the series.

I guess part of my nervous restlessness is worry about my Dad.  He is, as you know, back home after his hospital stint with his fractured pelvis and a month at my house.  I had to send him home since his month was up and he was getting a bit shall I say lazy, so I was worried about enabling his lack of recovery.

He has been home for a couple of weeks now and today he is thinking he is well enough to participate in an 18 hole golf tournament.  I think he is crazy, but he promises that he will stop if he can't do it.  He wont.  I know him.

I had to give him some tough love and tell him that if he gets hurt he is on his own on the second round of recovery.  Of course I spoke to him like I was his parent, I get that from my sons I guess, as I have been getting used to being "parented by them" as they get older and I am just me.

I slept pretty poorly and woke up tired and even after two teas and a bunch of nicotene I am still lagging.  I am hoping to be awake by the time I meet the Bennett/Roland couple when they deliver their art for the upcoming show at the Whit.

That isn't until 1:00 so I think (hope) I will be awake by then.  My stomach is doing weird flip flops today and I still have a bunch of unaccounted for anxiety.  I think I like it better when I can identify the source of the anxiety, but you can't win them all!

My new friend had invited me to the big Horse Race at Saratoga on Saturday, but plans are changing since the tickets are sold out and when I finally woke up I had a lovely text about the possibilities for Saturday between Lake George and The Columbia County Fair.

Two very different events and each very appealing in their own way.  I have been to neither places in a few lifetimes so I am not sure which way my vote will go.  Time will tell, and there is one more day to decide.  The only certain thing is which vehicle we are going to take and the Vette wins out.  It really is a cool car and I am not really a car chick,

It looks like a good day outside and I have a few things to do around the house before my appointment with two of my favourite artists.  I know, I say that about every artist, I can't help it if I love and appreciate art and artists!  But Morris was my Studio Art teacher in High School and his wife is an awesome lady as well who does some seriously lovely colored pencil drawings.

It is really different interacting with someone who taught you in School.  I am finally getting over calling him Mr. Bennett and using Morris since we are both adults and out of school.  It was difficult to do so with my old property manager Ned, who was also a teacher in my High School, although I didn't have him as a teacher.  It is a respect thing for me and a little respect goes a long way!

Barrington Stage Company has offered two free tickets to Volunteers for this Sunday to go see His Girl Friday.  I am stoked since I was unable to physically sit through the play when I volunteered.  I am going armed with meds this time so at the first sign of trouble I can manage the spasms and pain that plagued me that night.  I am taking my Dad, unless he is unable to move on Sunday.

All in all it looks like a great weekend of events and good company.  Never a dull moment around here!  Tom is bringing his friend Jon back home and Taylor might join them for the Diablo release party which will be taking place in my home.  I hope they do come and stay for a couple of days.  I think we could all use the visit.  I miss my sons friends and having some of my extra "sons" around!

Thomas has already thought ahead and taken out some food so he can show off his cooking skills.  I am enjoying seeing Tom regain some of his balance and footing in the world.  It has been a long process and these things are all good things.

Time is running out for me and my appointment as I look at the clock, I need to bail into the shower so I am on time!  Have a great day!


This is a test post to try to claim my blog on bloglovin - not sure if I am doing this right, but I shall find out soon!


The moon is almost full and earlier it was as clear and bright as could be.  I toured back roads from Pittsfield with my Dad, Orleans Dave and Lisa heading to North Adams for the Downtown Art Show.

I was on a mission (when am I not) in search of new Art and artists and to support a couple of my local Art friends Scott Taylor and Sean McCusker as they showed in the B.A.M., formerly know as R.A.M., but which had changed names recently and led to some confusion last night as I tried to pinpoint just where I needed to be to see two of my favorite local artists.

I love driving the back roads.  I really have been realizing lately how insane I must have been back in 2008 when I lost my house, to give up all three of my cars!

I guess my awareness is a good sign so far as that goes!  I really am going to miss traveling by car when my Dad is ready to drive again, which by my estimation will be pretty soon.  I am really going to have to figure out how to add a car into my life!

Life can be and has been a real drag as a walker.  I thought I was spoiled over the winter by not having to drive, with the luxury of having my Dad's car in order to meet his basic needs while he was in the hospital, at my house and now back at his house - driving to Hudson and Northampton, places I like to go to and enjoy the people and atmosphere and the freedom of the open road!

As I was saying before I got diverted by cars and back roads and all of the things that make my life enjoyable aside from people, art, artists and writing.

The moon is really making me restless as the evening gets later and later.  We all went up to check out the art and then enjoyed another series of roads that were previously unknown to two out of three of my passengers.

Lisa felt like I was lost because she had no idea where we were and they were dark paved roads with trees all around and only the moon and the headlights for light.    The kind of road I am wishing I was driving down as I sit in my house and listen to "The Police" traveling lifetimes back to my teenage years, trying to take off on a musical journey instead of putting my shoes and coat back on and heading out into the moonlight.

When my company left at 10:30 after our adventure, I grabbed the keys and did take a drive up to North Street, parked the car and took a walk on almost empty streets.  Our city is pretty lame, even the music, and there is music tonight in one place, surprising, but it ends early since there are apartments above it.

I was in no mood to be around people for some strange reason.  A very rare occurrence indeed.  I stood in the shadows within hearing and smoked a cig and then fell deeper into the shadows, past the church, crossing myself as I passed, as I always do.

I passed strangers on the street, couples walking arm in arm, a guy walking his dog, cloak of invisibility snuggly wrapped around me, glad that I had to not interact, yet wishing to interact at the same time.

I am being pulled in two directions at the same time - some internal conflict brewing deep inside- outside of my grasp of comprehension for the time being.  I am eager and anxious to hang the show for September, eager to have the last of the work in house so I can lay it out and set it up.

The Art Discussion went well with five women artists and an audience!  When I arrived at the Whit on Wednesday, I was excited as there were cars in the driveway, so I was hopeful that we were going to have an audience this month, despite the two days of event sharing.

I was surprised when I walked in to turn on the lights, that a group was doing a reading and were not planning on being done for another hour and a half, which was bothersome since our talk was scheduled for 6 and it was 5:30!

I got the Director on the phone and he was just arriving and had forgotten about it.  Horrible scenes passed before my eyes and crossed my brain.  I was cool though when he said we would figure it out. I was glad it was early and none of the artists had arrived.

I decided I needed to go and grab a tea while he did his thing.  When I returned the room was almost set up and a couple of my artists arrived at the same time as me and my Dad and the Reading group was relocating to parts unknown.

Double booking is uncommon, but I guess it happens in more places than the Doctors!  The ladies were awesome and everyone had a good time.  It is always nice to listen to artists talk about their craft and the five women were very multifaceted and I learned many interesting details which I did not know before about each one of them.  The audience also asked some very good questions so all in all it was a grand evening.

I was equally happy when I got home and the guy I am dating called me up and we went for a short ride despite the late hour for one who has to get up at 4 a.m.  It was a nice surprise and a gold star is in order for sure, I love that I have not realistically noticed one thing so far to raise a red flag.

This dating stuff is very new to me, despite my age and the fact that I have three grown sons, dating is not on my resume.  I could count on one hand the number of actual dates I have been on over the past thirty some odd years.

It is kind of embarrassing, but I have mainly tripped into very serious relationships kind of passing the dating step or have been single and not interested in intimate relationships beyond the friend stage.

I do enjoy dating at the moment.  I am glad I decided to step out of my comfort zone and say yes, my only regret is that I had to put him off for a whole month before I had time.  I guess it is a good sign that he was still interested.

So I really am off on all kinds of tangents this evening.  Sting is singing and I am rambling.  My 10:30 meeting with my final two artists got postponed until tomorrow afternoon which is okay and is allowing me to write once more today.

Thomas bailed on me and went to hang out with two of his buddies from Williamstown, whom he has been friends with since 8th grade.  One of them got some life changing news today and needed the support of his two best buds.  I wish he was here to watch t.v. with and drive me crazy in a good way!

What goes up must come down and what one begins one must finish I guess.  I am feeling like I am at a crossroads of some sort this evening, must be the moon - that is all I can imagine.  I suppose, however it could be some premonitory thing, and I wont be surprised by anything good or bad these days.

Besides, life is life, it is all how you react to life that makes it what it is.  I am doing pretty good with rolling with the punches and getting "IT" done no matter what "IT" is, right down to this "Self-care" stuff I have been doing over the past couple of weeks.

I am eager to hang my show and go see my surgeon and find out just what I have to deal with, if anything.  Part of me wants what I have been feeling physically to just be the way it is, but another part of me wants there to be something that can be "fixed" to relieve the numbness on the left side of my body and the sciatic nerve crap that has been going on.  I know it takes at least seven years (long ones) to repair nerve damage, but that is better than nothing.  I am patient.

The album is over and the house is quiet, I am sure I have kept you long enough with my mindless wandering ramblings...until tomorrow, keep well and have a great one!

Thursday, August 27, 2015


I am very grateful to the Universe these days.  Why?  Because it is showing me a greater world of possibility than I have ever imagined in my life, for my life.  It hasn't always been so, but on this path of life I chose to grow.

A few years ago I began sharing my journey with the world through writing because I was scared to get close face to face with another human being (a specific person) on any level who made me look deep inside myself and answer the question of "Who I am" and "What kind of person am I".

These are questions which I am sure most people could answer pretty quickly in some way or another.  Me, not so much.  Over the course of these three years I have discovered and rediscovered who I am and what kind of person I am.

I can definitely say that I am an ever changing and evolving person who has always been on the path of understanding.  Understanding of myself, society and the world around me.  My outlook in the past had been one of negativity of my self and I harboured a lot of anger which I wasn't aware of.

As I discovered time and time again a disconnect between the myself who I thought I was and the person other people saw I became confused and then clarity hit me and due to an series of automobile accidents which changed my life and gave me the time, I chose to focus on becoming the person who was lost and hiding deep inside me.

I removed all negative aspects of my life, relationships, habits and people even if they were the closest people in the world to me.  It was not easy and still isn't, but it is a choice I made and cleaning the toxicity out of ones life is very uplifting.

I have been trying like mad for more than fifteen years to recognize (before it is too late) toxic situations and people.  Alas, it is very difficult, since in my case I see too often the good in people and instead of red flags, bells and whistles, I instead get very difficult lessons in the end.

How I respond to these things is still a little off.  I am learning.  My close companion, anger comes out.  Not anger, normally at those people and things in a reactionary way, but anger at myself mostly for failing to recognize these signs which are clearly there in hindsight.

Over the course of this past year I allowed myself to believe I was ready and had made a good choice in a relationship.  I was deeply connected and consumed willingly by this relationship.  It wasn't until reality hit and I found myself so devastated by the end of the relationship that I hit a very dark and low point.

I did something very different that I would normally do.  I filled my time, not dwelling on what went wrong, which was difficult since I was living in a different relationship apparently,  but with positive and healthy activities and people.  That is not to say that I do not see red when I run into my "failure".  I do, but as the minutes, hours, days, weeks and months pass I am finding it easier to accept and learn from.

Somehow it is changing my life, and the universe is providing me with so much goodness.  I am able to accept and acknowledge what others see inside of me that shines through in the things that I do. I can tell you, it feels good!

I have miles to go before I sleep as the expression goes.  I feel like I have journeyed a million miles already with a million more in front of me.  I am excited and full of ideas and dreams and goals for the first time in many, many moons and I am forever grateful!

Wednesday, August 26, 2015


The phone rang.  It was my future calling.  "What do you want more than anything?"  it asked.
That was a good question, one I had thought about many times, but one that had so many answers.  I looked deep inside myself and replied "More time to think of what I really want."  "Good answer" was the reply, and then I had dial tone in my ear.

I sat for a long time as I contemplated the question.  What did I want?  I looked around me.  I had everything I needed, food, clothing, shelter, a good family, friends and a pretty cool life to boot.  I only lacked two things love and money.

A week later the phone rang.  I answered.  "This is your future calling back, What did you decide?"  I paused, once again unable to answer the question before me.  Again, knowing what I lacked deep in my heart.  "More time, I said once again".  Click the phone went dead once again, this time on top of the dial tone I heard my heart beating loudly in my ear.

That night I went to sleep and I dreamed of a strange and far away land.  It was unlike any place I had ever seen or even read about.  The sun shone brightly and I was in a field of flowers.  I could hear the sound of the ocean waves slapping on shores I could not see and smell the fresh sea air, as if I was really there.

In my dream I was smiling and a warm glow filled my body.  My heart swelled with such feeling that I felt as if my chest was going to explode!  The birds sang from a beautiful tree to the right of me.  I awoke with a start.

I found myself in my room, in my house, knowing that something important had been just out of my sight, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out what it was, but I knew that I liked the way I felt and that was the key to everything, that feeling.

For a week I kept having the same dream.  Each night I felt closer and closer to finding out what was on the edge of my vision, but like each morning I awoke feeling great but puzzled by what was just out of my sight.

One day, the dream now a vivid memory was fresh in my brain.  I was sitting in a field of flowers, the sound of the ocean filled my ears, I could smell the salt in the air.  The birds were singing sweetly and my heart swelled and felt like it was going to burst.

I wondered if I was dreaming, as I felt just like I had in my dream.  The phone rang and I answered it, it was my Present calling, "Do you see it now?"  I smiled and knew what I wanted was right in front of me.


The hour is late, I swear, Thomas is an indirect bad influence, even though he is not twisting my arm as I sit at the computer while he plays and interacts with people all over the world in our computer room.

He was gone for a few days and not that I really had time to miss him, I do enjoy when he is around.  Besides if I choose the right protein for dinner he cooks me an amazing meal, half of it anyway, which is so much fun to watch him cut and chop and season and cook.  He says I am a Master Cook, but I think he has some serious skill and talent which he has yet to discover.

I know I will regret this tomorrow since it is Wednesday and garbage day - if I was smart I would be emptying out the refrigerator and putting the garbage out before I go to bed - but I have that thing about food and dogs and the street and the mess and cleaning it up.  I would rather just wake up.  Besides, I like seeing my garbage men.  They are really nice and friendly guys who nicely put my can behind my fence after they empty it.

I have been staying up late with Thomas, it is true.  Last night I did go to sleep, but I woke up with a desire to eat some of my Banana Split Ice Cream, which is unusual, since I never wake up in the middle of the night for a snack.

It might have just been the ice cream alarm in my head since Tom had decided to eat some of my ice cream despite it not being a flavour he likes, but he had eaten all of his weeks ago.  I know the pleasure of saving some for later - unlike him,

Regardless of what it was, once I was up and eating ice cream I had to go on the computer while I was eating it and then, since it tasted so good, I had to have more and then I remembered the Chocolate syrup and well, the rest they say, is history.

Then, although the hour was quickly approaching 4 a.m. we had to watch a quick episode of the Goldbergs since it was just a 20 minute show and it was new...  the simple pleasures in life - quality family time.

I have been learning the art of sleeping in as well.  Something I was well schooled in before I had children.  Now sleeping in means 9:00 or later.  I made it to 9 this morning and woke up somewhat fuzzy but not too bad.

And yet, here I am once again, into the next day sitting in this chair, instead of upstairs in my bed fast asleep.  I always have been a night owl.  I do some of my best work at night.  I am a great one for moving whole rooms and rearranging complete collections of dust collectors and wall art.

This day wasn't too shabby but life is about to go into overdrive with the Art Talk tomorrow night and 24 artists between the two shows to pick up their work and make way for September, which will only have three couples, so six various artists in all, but only three deliveries of work, each artist as diverse as their counter-part.

I am looking forward to laying out the September show which I am calling Partners In Art - there is a wedding at The Whit so I thought I would kill two birds with one stone with this theme, and in order to get a diverse array of Art so that the Bride and Groom can have their pick between some amazing Colored Pencil Drawings by Anne Roland in high contrast to her husband, Morris Bennett's Abstracts

To be sure Anne Pasko's Mixed Media Pieces will be a hit, with some amazing pieces, they blow me away!  Her husband Walter Pasko paints  beautiful Oil Landscapes of some local countryside in the Berkshires.  Looking through Walt's work during the studio visit took me on a wonderful journey.

Paul Hergenrother is showing some beautiful watercolors which make you feel like you are there. His partner Robert Martin paints some amazingly deep and peaceful seascapes in Oil which have got to be seen to be believed, you just fall right into them.

I, as usual have only a vague idea of the layout.  That comes to me as I go along.  Sometimes easily and sometimes it takes a couple of tries, but always I have been satisfied with the job well done and eager to see the response of the Art Patrons who attend the shows.  This show is no exception.

I am excited for the Women's Art Talk since I picked most of my very favourite women artists to be in the show, 12 of them anyway.  Of course it is impossible to expect twelve women to be free and willing to sit up in front of an audience and talk about Art, but I do have at least 4 and maybe one or two more in the audience who will speak if moved to do so.

Working with the College Club and Nancy McGill, was wonderful!  They so enjoyed the show and going around for First Fridays that they are thinking about making it a regular event!  It is so great when people are enthusiastic about Art and the local events in the Community!

I could write all night, but alas, my eyes are seeing double and I have no idea where my reading glasses have landed so it is time for this chick to say goodnight.  I do not want to look too bad tomorrow night.

Monday, August 24, 2015


I have been itching to write for days, but as it does life sometimes occupies so much of my time that it passes.  It seems that my muse has a sense of humour and teases me that way, then by the time I get actual time to write the brilliant creative piece that wrote itself but didn't get written is long gone - perhaps into someone else's idea pool as my Dad thinks, I have no idea so usually I just randomly write.

Today I quickly and randomly got to write two quick 150 word pieces in the minutes which I had between other things (that real life I mentioned earlier.)  It satisfies a bit of the hunger but not as much as I needed it seems today.

I have lived my entire summer it seems over the course of the past week.  I selfishly had a much needed period of "self care" and "me" time.  I spent a lot of time at the Cottage with my grand daughter and even Tom and one of my Uncles.

I had a sleepover with my grand daughter following the afternoon at the Lake with Tom and Ains, which included a very difficult row to the Island since the lake was so choppy and the wind was not in anyone but the wind surfers favour!

Tom started out rowing and couldn't get us past the dock the wind was so rough.  That should have been the indicator to turn back, (kind of like when Bruce and I took the Ferry to Block Island with a Hurricane coming up the Coast which made it not a day for the beach), the difference was we did not have 15 foot waves coming at us on Wednesday.

We did have the Oar become unhinged from the oarlock so it would not stay in place, that and the wind really gave me a challenge I could not pass up, nor could I fix it in the middle of the wind in the middle of my destination, I would have blown all of the way back across the lake!

I finally got us over to the Island where there was no wind at all anywhere around us.  Tom hadn't been to the Island in 17 years so he and Ains went for a walk and I sat in the water and enjoyed the view.  I can never get enough of the view around the Lake from any where I am, it is always beautiful and calm and peaceful to me.

They came back and decided to walk around the outside of the water and Ainsley swam while Tom walked.  I swam at my favourite place where the water goes down at an angle.  I love to swim underwater and now there are few weeds to impede my progress.

I began to swim around the island in the direction the kids would be coming from, but they were taking their sweet time which gave me time to remember all the fun we used to have swimming at the island when we were kids.

The days and weeks and months rolling into years and then the seventeen years which passed almost in the blink of an eye, not even aware while I was away just how big a part of my life was connected to the lake and the cottage.

They finally returned and after a bit of swimming and exploring the fish life through her goggles, Ains was ready to return back across the lake.  I

We had to meet my son and his wife at Third Thursday Art Walk and Tom came with me so he could see his nephew.  A major event, since Tom doesn't go very far out into the world.  We of course arrived last since we were hungry after our great adventure and had to cook up some burgers and bacon and eat.

After getting boxed in and having to do a three point turn in the parking garage that was full and dead ended, I finally found a space in the lower lot, thanks to the help of some cooperative strangers and we were on our way.

We found the rest of our little family and headed off down the street.  Lisa fussing with Ain's messy hair and me scolding Thomas for his holey shirt which I swear I am going to burn if I can ever get him to take it off!!!!!

Thomas was headed over to Pats for a couple of days and Jeff and his family needed to get home we coordinated where they parked and Tom and I got the car and drove over to deliver the car seat and Ains's sleepover gear.

Then it was off to Pat's and lugging the computer in so Tom would be right at home.  My kids are so high tech and in sync, it is crazy!  Pat's room is a little computer den with T.V. and media going all over the place.  He had a table set up and I sat in the chair and had a visit with them.

I rarely get over to Pat's end of the world, although I drive by occasionally.  It is always nice to visit with the guys in their environment.  It soon got late and I was interested in lying and bed and reading.  I had already had a full week with a trip to Leeds and Northampton with my Dad and a previous day at the Lake and Island Adventure with my grandfather.

Then there was the birthday dinner the night of Ains sleepover for my Dad with burgers and cake and Pat and Bruce, which all of course was last minute and spur of the moment around all of the known and planned things with a little bit of sleep and food thrown in here and there for good measure.

Yes, even my self care weeks are full of hustle, bustle and activity.  I would like to think I got to orchestrate it all, but I am not the sole driver of my ship at the moment, but I am a good navigator and make it all work somehow!

On my way home Thursday I happened to spot the red corvette on my way home so I got the brilliant idea to drop a text to say hello.  We had a couple of missed opportunities to get together so I figured a friendly hello was in order.

I got a text back, by this time I was in my jammies under my blanket, tea on the table, book in hand and really ready to just give my body a much needed rest after having to take meds twice in one week since I could take the pain no longer and I had let it escalate into a major flare up by trying to ignore it.

The driving had done me in, even though I didn't notice it at the time, it is afterwards, so it is a real drag, especially since I am spending half of my life in an automobile these days it seems!  So I am enjoying the quiet in my house, cozy in my bed and deeply entranced by my book and in the distance I hear a ding.

Twenty minutes later I come back to earth and check the ding.  After a couple of texts and a phone call I am stepping further out of my comfort zone and making an official "date" for Friday night.  I do NOT date, so I was surprised when I said yes.

The best part was, I realized when I finally finished reading and was lying there falling asleep, I was anticipating it, dare I say, even excited about it.  Hmmm.  wonders will never cease.  I went to bed looking forward to sleeping until I felt like waking up and nothing to do until the appointed date time.

Sleep I did, until 10:00 which is like a mini holiday for me.  I will take that, a cup of tea and a cig to the computer any day.  Then I got a message from one of my favorite people and women artists requesting a time to go in and take some photo's of her works which were in the show - so new that she hadn't had time between framing to get a clear shot (without glare).

My day was getting even better.  I was even looking forward to writing if I do recall, until the phone rang and my Dad was around the corner!  Minor glitch, but one I did bitch about for the entire time of dropping him off to a wake without a shower and picking him up almost after I dropped him off with barely enough time to shower - Men!!

Never can I allow myself to think I had nothing to do.  Just because my calendar is blank doesn't really mean a thing in my world!  I just had time to make my meeting at the Gallery, with like minutes to spare after I got the doors unlocked and the lights on!

It is always nice to visit with Autumn, and for a second we had both thought that we would each have time to get tea, but fate had other plans and we had opposite directions to go in.  Mine took me to the Cafe on North and I selfishly had a cup of tea and looked at two local publications and read the beginning of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas noting different things of interest to me before the story even begins.

I had a lot of girl stuff to do before my date, like redo my ruined finger nail polish since I had chipped to to a horrible state after the river clean up the week (two weeks) before.  They just wouldn't do, so I had to get some polish remover since Richard hijacked mine for his glasses (long story).

All and all the afternoon went smoothly and my transformation didn't take long, since I figured out what I was wearing.  Isn't that always the most difficult thing?  He was working out of town so I wasn't even expecting a call until 6:30 at the earliest.

To my surprise, I got the call earlier and we planned on getting together at 6:30.  He asked if I might be interested in going on a motorcycle ride after dinner, which of course appealed to me.  I haven't ridden on a motorcycle in many moons....Florida early 2000 which was cool without a helmet in the warm evening air.

We live in Mass though and appropriate clothing is necessary so I packed up jeans and shoes and a shirt and grabbed a coat - (the wrong coat which we went back to my house to retrieve before the "real" ride).  Let's not forget the helmet, which is the most important thing and which I am now almost a professional at putting on and taking off, even that stupid strap.

After a great dinner and the jacket we headed North up the mountain - the stars as we entered the dark night were amazing.  I spent a good portion of the ride staring up.  We did the loop around through Williamstown where we stopped and checked out these Sculptures which were lit up in the Galerie Reynard.

I had missed the most recent opening since I had some other commitment somewhere or other, so I peeked in the windows and made a note to come back before the show changed.  I liked the sculptures all lit up (well not all of them, I have to find out when the ones on the table on the left are programmed to come on).

After a few smooches in the moonlight and some conversation we made our way back into our helmets and back toward home with more star gazing along the way, I really had my head in the clouds that night.

We returned the bike and the helmets and pick up the car.  I had the boat regatta on the lake on Saturday so I had to make it a fairly early night.  I was looking forward to a day full of family and fun.  I had never seen this infamous boat regatta so I was eager to experience it for myself.

I arrived at 1:10, worried that I was late.  I was 20 minutes early and my brother and my nephew, my favourite cousin Marguerite and her friend Shiela, whom I didn't know, but was delighted to meet, were there when I arrived, along with my Uncle Matt.

Ains Dec and Lis hadn't arrived yet and my Uncle Fran and his girlfriend Chris were coming as well. Ains brought here bestie and everyone arrived in time for the regatta.  I went out on the dock with my Uncle and my camera and Ains and her friend watched from the float as the boats went past tooting their horns and waving!

After the regatta we had a cookout and my brother and nephew manned the grill and I somehow got put on corn duty with the microwave being on top of the tallest refrigerator and not knowing the male occupied kitchen any more - so changed from the days of my great grandmother!!!

I finally managed to get the corn done and we all had a great meal and excellent company.  Then my Mom and her beau arrived and not long after my eldest arrived as well.  Marguerite and Sheila had to leave and then Fran and Chris had to leave.

Soon it was just my eldest and his family and my brother and his son and my Uncle Matt.  It was nice.  I held the my newest grandson and fed him his bottle all wrong according to my son, but okay according to my daughter in law!  She is the boss so her word is rule!

Watching my grand daughter swim and play with my Uncles and her friends and my brother and nephew on Saturday takes me back to my childhood and life is very good in those moments, because life was wonderful on the Lake.

You would think that would be enough, but on my way home I happened past Park Square and one of our local artist/drummers was in Park Square, so after going down the street and around the block to find a parking space I found myself on a bench in the Park listening to some drumming with some conversation in between drumming with another citizen and her dog and the drummer himself.

The sun was setting behind us and listening to the drum watching the water in the fountain, smelling the flowers all brought me to a continued place a peaceful tranquility.  I found myself  walking around exploring while Brian drummed, until I found myself back at my car and at my front door - somehow without my car key.

My date from the evening before phoned and offered to help me find it (and return my sandals I thought I left in the car, but had left at his house)!  Within 5 minutes after carefully retracing my steps I found my keys and we were off cruising into the night.

More stars and moonlight and kisses goodnight.  With another free day ahead of me on Sunday I was feeling pretty darn good.  I had no plans whatsoever and decided to head up street to discover the future of Pittsfield, which was a political meeting for a mayoral candidate.

I sat with two of my favorite people, Michael and Hugh and chatted with Joe Durwin, one of our local celebs and cool people whom I just met the day before.  I listened for around an hour, enjoying the free ice cream and then had to break for a call and decided to take a walk and have a cig on the return call.

I wandered away and quiet far down the road before I remembered the Greek Festival.  I hadn't heard the music when I walked by, so it escaped my mind entirely, so I back tracked and found myself in line behind a girl I had met ten years earlier who invited me to join her.

Of course that is how it goes, by the time we hit the end of the line and got a seat we were old friends and subsequently so with our table mates as well.  I also saw an old friend of mine and had to catch up for a quick minute as he was cooking Greek food in the deep fryer.

After a great bit of food and music I made my way back home, it had been the best weekend in a long time and I was eager to find out if Thomas was finally coming home.  I walked home through the park enjoying my City all the way.

Tom didn't come home, but I had to take the car out and get gas since Dad had an appointment on Monday and I hadn't driven since Saturday to the lake.  I was in bed early knowing that Monday was back to the real world and a bunch of reality to get back to  and I was right!  


What just blew up?  I wondered after I picked myself off of the ground.  It must have been something big!  I raced back to my car to grab my phone and connect with the internet.  I picked up the phone and there was nothing - no signal, nothing on the radar.

I was out in the middle of nowhere, I was surprised that I was affected by whatever blew up.  I listened - no noises save the birds chirping could be detected.  I decided to climb up the side of the mountain to get a better look at the areas around me.

It took about an hour to reach the peak.  I looked and for miles could detect nothing out of the ordinary.  I guess I would have to wait til I returned home from my adventure to find out what just blew up!  Maybe I would just stay here.


"Big spiders down here", Bob called  from the cellar.  It was just getting dark outside, odd light and the thought of big spiders made more than one in our group hesitate.

"Spiders! No way I can deal with them", said Amy.  "Ghosts I can handle, but spiders...."  Pete agreed, spiders were his biggest nightmare, his skin crawled.

The old broken down house on the hill where locals reported strange noises and happenings intrigued the group. They wanted to see what was what.

"Okay, guys, let's get the gear in and forget the fear of spiders, we are here for ghosts!" said Jean. "We are going to lose the light and we need to set up."

Upstairs, the floorboards creaked, they were all accounted for! Amy screamed, Pete ran out the door - Bob laughed, "Let the fun begin!"

It was going to be an interesting night to say the least!

Saturday, August 22, 2015


Since my major meltdown a couple of weeks ago until today I have been experiencing a transition in myself.  I think I really needed to crash and burn in order to realize just how much it affected me not only when Richard left, but dealing with his hot cold, love hate emotional disturbance and his final truth a couple of months after that.

Since he has mental health issues I do not know if any of our relationship was "REAL".  If his final words to me are true it was just one big CON and I was the MARK.  He was a master MANIPULATOR right up until the very last conversation back in July, orchestrating my removal AND placement into the role of volunteer curator/gallery manager at the Whitney Center for the Arts.

The months between May to now were one big clusterfuck of activity in order to avoid FEELING any EMOTIONS surrounding that relationship.  Add to the mix my Dad hurting himself and calling on me to help after only just rekindling our relationship I was not short of responsibility and duty.

I knew I was on hyper-overdrive and I needed to be.  If I stopped moving and doing I would think about the REALITY of the situation and at that time it was difficult to accept the multiple realities I was existing in.

I became a one man wrecking ball of ambition, activity and no task was too large or too time consuming.  All filled me with great pleasure and I had some wonderful and unique experiences and learned a lot about many things.

One thing that became apparent to me was that I needed to ground myself before I put myself in the ground.  I voluntarily and involuntarily submerged myself into a pace of activities which was extreme and somewhat dangerous for my well being.

I love curating art shows as you probably well know by now since my involvement in January when Richard accepted the title and we had so much fun together planning and hanging shows.  It really opened up a new world for me, an extension of Art Walk and gave me a chance to see just what the whole scene was all about.

Art has always been a passion for me since I was 8 years old and I found the Pieta under the stairs at Joe's house and painstakingly cleaned the long forgotten sculpture and transformed it into a clean and well cared for piece of art which still adorns my shelf today as one of my most precious possessions.

My first piece of charcoal out of the wood stove and drawing followed and after that I was always walking around drawing and skipping classes in High School to do so.  I was kind of a loner when I was growing up so it was not uncommon for me to be sitting at the Rivers edge on my floating rock on the river sketching the landscape and doing abstract drawings for the F@*K of it.

In other words, Art has always been a great comfort to me, so it it no surprise that during one of the darkest periods in my life it consumed my very heart and soul in such a grand and marvelous way! I do not know what I would do without being involved in some way with Art.  It is a lot of fun grouping artists, getting a excited yes when asked if they would like to participate in this show or that.

Seeing new faces enter the Whit month after month and speaking with the Art Patrons who graced the Gallery talking art and layout and getting positive feedback on my Shows was very much the stuff that dreams (mine anyway) are made of!

I took off my Art hat for a couple of weeks to work on myself.  Regaining my balance so to speak, writing and looking inside of myself at just where I was situated in my life, what was good, what was overkill, what needed to go and what I need more of to be a healthy well rounded woman.

Since I am a giver it is natural for me to give, and give I do.  I do not have money, I have myself and my abilities which over the years I have quite an extensive bag of tricks up my sleeve, some out in the open but many hidden deep inside me.

I had been neglecting my writing so I began to write more and I think, more quality things, especially the fiction writing and poems.  Thanks to Glipho I had many opportunities to write as I had fallen so very far behind in the writing challenges and had slacked off on my LiveJournal as well.  With the end of Glipho I am at a loss but I am confident it will not stop me from continuing.

I stuck to my guns with my Dad after watching him get comfortable in my home so much so I was grateful to keep the one month transition from the hospital to his house just that for his sake as well as mine.

I watched my young 68 year old Dad fall into a comfortable and sedentary life in my living room slowly morphing himself into another person dependent on me.  One thing I do know is that I have been waiting a very long time to have my own life, one without dependents which got stalled when my youngest son got sick when he was in his senior year of High School some 4 years ago stopping my much anticipated independence dead in its tracks!

As my job as parent, I accepted that.  As a daughter I cannot accept the role of "Parent" to someone who has been taking care of themselves albeit good or bad or responsible or irresponsible, desiring me to "fix" the problems and make them go away, but unwilling to do the work themselves and who seemed to self sabotage their recovery and all of my hard work as "fixer."

In other words enough was enough and I was calling BULLSHIT on all areas which required that call.  If you know me you know I hate conflict.  I can live with something that is broken as it is easier to accept and express my feelings since for some stupid reason I don't feel worthy of valuing my SELF.

I don't see what other people see and it surprises me and embarrasses me to a large degree to have people express to me the good and positive things that I do.  I know my faults and weaknesses and those are what shine brightly in my mind and in my eyes.

As August comes to an end and I am settling in with only the vision of positive self care and growth and learning to value myself (not overvalue) just value.  I reach yet another cross roads.  You see, I have been working on those weak areas for more than 15 years identifying and removing all the negative characteristics of myself and removing those influences from my life, call me selfish and you might me right but as selfish as I am I am 1000 time more generous and giving.

So I am in the process of being generous and loving to myself, whatever that might mean.  I don't see it clearly yet.  I know my normal of the past year of my life is about to transition into a new and different meaning on this journey.

I am not afraid of the unknown, like an explorer of days gone by I welcome all new and uncut paths. I am eager to cut through the thick underbrush to discover what is on the other side.  Only then will I achieve my ultimate unnamed goal .

In the name of love and balance I am excited and curious to see where this new mindset and path takes me.  I know that there will be prickers and thorns, cliffs and quicksand, but there will also be beauty and peace and love!

So in the name of love I proclaim I am adjusting the rules in this game.  I hope some things remain and stay the same, but I welcome the change!

Friday, August 21, 2015


Since I don't have time to write at the moment, I am sharing my final Glipho piece.  I miss Glipho so very much!!    hope you enjoy it!




Summer is coming, I thought to myself as I sat in front of the fire enjoying the warmth of the heat from the wood stove, the pop and crackle of the embers were comforting sounds, but it had been a long winter and I was eager for the warmth of the sun.

As I sat sipping tea I thought about the plans I had for the landscaping.  I was eager to clear the land across the river and make a beautiful garden in memory of my good friend who had passed too soon, where the sun shone a good part of the day.

I thought about sitting sipping my morning tea on my root seat by the river, where I enjoyed the sun glistening off the river while the sounds of the cars on the highway seemed so far away in my tranquil sanctuary of my home by the river.</p></co

<pubDate>Fri, 14 Aug 2015 02:47:55 GMT</pubDate>

Monday, August 17, 2015


It is late Sunday evening, almost Monday by all counts.  Ten more minutes and the clock strikes twelve, or it would if I had a grandfather clock - it is on my bucket list.  Nothing strikes the hour in my house, although when I was growing up we had a cuckoo clock.  I always enjoyed that, but as with everything, over time you fail to notice the hour being struck and being delighted by things that once made you smile.

I am feeling pretty good, tea in front of me - relaxed.  The dishes done, laundry washing, catching up on things that need to be done, but not necessary things, things that are important only to me, like meeting a couple of game goals.

Monday is quiet.  I can stay up if I want to tonight.  I have had a very productive day shopping and getting food in the house, picking up Dad and taking him with me to check out the new supermarket.  He needed nothing but still came home with things he needed.

Our trip on Friday up to Vermont was fun.  I must say, we took the road we hoped to take, but along the way, and really early along the way I took a right - I know what you are thinking, and you would be correct - the trip was full of rights last time, but this time it was reverse so once again we journeyed into the unknown.

I knew pretty much right away, when I came to a house that looked like something took the whole front wall off of it and dropped a meteor or something on it's roof.  The contents of the home were still visible through the missing wall.

I pulled over to look from the parameters of the road.  Thomas joined me, and neither one of us could figure out what had happened.  It was fun making up stories about what could have happened.  We took some pictures and headed on our way.

Down the road and around the corner from the smashed house there was another great photo opportunity and Thomas and I gladly took advantage of the situation.


Not really knowing the way but sensing the direction to go, rather than the one that will take you away from your destination can be fun.  Not knowing where on Earth you will come out is even more fun, coming out where you want but not expecting to be there so quick is okay as well, and that is what happened to us.  We came out a few blocks from the center of Bennington, so I went with it and continued on my merry way.

It was before 4:00 when we drove past our destination and journey up the road to check out sights unfamiliar to us.  Bennington sure is quite the little town and by little I mean it is thriving with all the businesses you could imagine, and traffic to boot!

Thomas was looking at it from a living perspective at that pint in our ride.  I am not keen on multiple feet of snow in the winter so he can dream all he wants!  If I ever move again it will be where there is no such thing as winter, cold or snow!

We headed back towards our KFC destination ready to devour a bucket of chicken to mark an end of a month like we marked the start of the month.  I would say this entire month felt longer than the whole 4 months put together for me somehow.  It is really strange.

We finished up our dinner and headed out of town via a different route once again.  I decided to take a road, by chance that used to be traveled regularly by us to go visit our cousins up by Mount Snow before I knew of the shortcuts to avoid the heavily traveled roads.  It was nice seeing familiar landmarks which have lost their familiarity but still feel like home.

We had driven, on our way out of town, by the river which was very empty of water and very full of rocks.  Not a good sign.  There was nowhere to pull over and get the shot that I wanted so I got the brilliant idea to travel to another road I know past the Readsboro turn across from Sleepy Hollow Road.

It is a beautiful road and one which has a beautiful full river.  I was curious to see how full that river was, considering how empty the one we had passed was.  Though the trees, plants and vegetation were green and lush, I was concerned.

Before we hit the river, we had to stop at the Searsburg Dam.  Thomas saw a picture he had to have.  I parked the car and we walked back pretty far, as I had to find a safe place to park.  It was nice walking down the country road bordering the water.  Dad waited by the car while I accompanied Tom on his high jinks.

 We finally made it past the water and the cool rocks on the side of the road, snapping pictures along the way, trading the camera back and forth.

At last Thomas made his destination.  He risked his neck edging along the outside of the chain link fence and was seriously contemplating going over the fence on the return trip, but I bullied him out of it.

He got some pretty cool shots, standing next to the sign that warned of rushing water when the light flashes and the horn blows.  Fortunately we did not have that experience!

 He passed me the camera after I had him take a shot of the date stamp and the ladder on the other side of the dam.

He was also kind enough to get a picture of the two large rocks in the water since there was no way I was scaling the fence over or along side of it after the way I had been feeling all day!

The journey and the company had helped me to forget how bad I felt when I woke up in the a.m. and how I had continued to feel up until this point of the evening.

I don't know if it was the country air or the distraction of memories of days gone by, or perhaps just the new memories we were making that evening the three generations of Gallants.

Dad waited patiently as we made our way back down the road, it was so beautiful on the Dam, but we were still not at the river and I was curious to see how it was faring.

The last time, and everytime previous that I had seen it, it was a deep and wide amber river.  Something told me that I was going to be sad.

Just looking at the visible receding shoreline as we walked back to the car was a bit of preparation.

We drove on and talked about trips gone by, the river, the scenery around us and dinner.  It was still fairly early and yet the sky was beginning to darken as we drove along looking for the photo ops we knew were waiting just about anywhere.

I was always ready to step on the brakes and pull over at a seconds notice.

It didn't take long before just that happened.  For a change we did not see any wild life save a couple of birds but I am fuzzy on that.  No missed Eagle shots this trip, I am sorry to say!

We all got out of the car for these river shots, but Dad did not go down the rocky hill.  I almost went swimming, gaining momentum as I tried to get down the hill, my brakes not working.

I let Thomas get some of the more adventurous shots while I explored the rocks on the way up the hill.

I was pleased to find some sand stones and a little bit of driftwood which I decided to bring home to commemorate the occasion.

When I was walking toward the car, I happened to take a picture of the sky and this is what I saw above my head. I knew we had 5 to 10 minutes before the rain was going to be coming down.  I hurried further up the road, knowing that what I was looking for would soon be in front of me.

The rain began to fall, but not down pour as I continued on my way.  I had a destination and route in mind but I had to give in to the masses, that consisting of Dad and Tom begging me to go straight up to Somerset Reservoir instead of left further into the National Forest where I was hoping to spot a moose.

We stayed ahead of the rain for the most part, until we finally hit the reservoir.  I got in two pictures from just outside the car when Thomas jumped out and ran over to get a couple of better shots.  I took a picture of the road we took on our way to the look out spot and was surprised by it.

 You drive over this bridge on the way around the reservoir.  There is a giant hill you drive past, only it is not a hill, it is the walls holding the water in if you can believe it!

It is massive.  Much larger than I realized until I saw the pictures which Thomas took of it.

I am sure on a sunny day it is a sight to behold, as it was on a cloudy and rainy evening.  Thomas didn't last too long outside before the rain began pelting its hard and biting drops onto his bare flesh.

I love these last three pictures which Thomas took.  Especially the top two.  He is getting to be quite the little photographer.  

We might have to keep our eye on him!  He really does have an extraordinary eye.  I am thankful that he gets out with us and has been enjoying and getting into photography!

We backtracked as the lightening flashed around us.  We were on the edge of the storm and I planned on keeping it that way as much as possible.

We finally made it back to the highway.  The temptation of Sleepy Hollow Road was ahead of me.  I crossed the busy highway and popped across the street.  

Unbeknownst to me in the seven years that I had last been on this road, I am sad to report that it is closed and no longer a through way.  Never again will I be able to drive down that beautiful road from Readsboro, past the cemetery and with a nice view of the windmills.  I had to turn around, since I was hoping the "Not a throughway" sign was like the ones in New Ashford and Lanesborough and just there to keep out the traffic.  Not so!

No bid deal.  I turned around, recalling the bears I had mistaken for large dogs one summer day years before, whom I had watched as they left the road and walked into the woods, stopping to look at me from the safety of the woods as I looked at them from the safety of my car.

We made our way up to the Readsboro Road, some noticeable changes but for the most part it remained the same.  I love that road.  It is such a nice road to drive.  I really got into it, hoping to see a moose, knowing from years of hoping that it was a pipe dream!  I have yet to see a moose in Vermont, save those paper mache ones, or the stuffed purple one I bought a million years ago as a souvenir.

We ended up somehow at the base of Mt. Greylock so what is a girl to do but take the road which is in front of her.  My Dad reminisced about his days on the mountain before being called to Vietnam and we followed the lightening up and over missing the rain some more, until we got to where the road turns back down into Lanesboro.

The visibility on the hairpin turn was iffy, but I am a pro.  The lanes are clearly marked.  My biggest concern was whether or not the gate would be open as it was dark and after 8:00 p.m. by this time.  I couldn't remember so I figured we would either be locked in or make it out, either way, what would be would be.

We arrived back at my house without further adieu.  I still had to fill Dad's pill containers for the week and we had already brought everything over to his house before we began our journey.  He took his meds and I filled the containers, grabbed some food for him to bring home and made the journey back to normalcy.

I was feeling the pain from earlier, accompanied by some serious stiffness so I had Thomas help Dad in with the last of his things and we journeyed the 5 minutes back home, me at least remembering to pick up the tea for morning.

All and all it was a darn good farewell.  We all had a good time and even though the road we traveled wasn't the one we thought we would be on we took all that we could from it and left the rest behind us, just like life.

I can tell you that I slept like a rock and didn't even wake up until well after 10:00.  I did resort to medicine, but all it did  was make me wake up every hour religiously until about 6 a.m.  I made it over to the market but never made it back, since I got dizzy and had to make my way back home where I fell asleep for six hours no problem!