Monday, June 16, 2014


After looking forward to a nice time with my boys and their Dad Sunday I was not disappointed.  The meal came out good ~ simple as it was a nice baked ham with steamed red potatoes and some peas.  Not too shabby for a nice Sunday dinner ~ almost effortless!

Everyone came with an appetite and could hardly wait for dinner to be served.  I never know until the moment arrives whether it will be a "hang on a sec, I want to check this first", or a "come on Mom, I thought dinner was ready".

Unless we are waiting on gravy it is just about always ready to be served up on a moments notice, which is all I got yesterday!  I was glad I had pre-sharpened the knife and cut some ham, waiting to serve the potatoes and peas when we sat so they would be hot.

Thomas instructed everyone to grab a dish and headed for the table.  It wasn't until I was sitting at the table (trapped by people on either end) when I realized I had forgotten to call Jeffrey back when I got back from the store.

My little shower fiasco and resulting bad mood knocked that completely out of my head.  Patrick was quick to remind me.  "Yeah, Jeff called," he said, "He asked if we were having dinner." Was there anyone I was not going to anger this week?

Jeez, just what I needed.  I assumed that his family and he would have plans and I hope that I am correct, although he does know my number and could have easily phoned me.  I was stressed out enough as it was, this did not help the stress levels one bit!

My goal was to relax and enjoy the time with the family and put the stress of the previous few days behind me and begin fresh.  New outlook, new attitude.  I tried and semi succeeded.  Everyone was a bit grouchy except for the Dad of the day.

Bruce enjoyed the card and he did laugh, despite the boys saying it was stupid when they signed it.  If there is one thing I am good at it is selecting the right cards for people.  I was glad he laughed when he read it.  He liked the Seashell Candle.  It, I realized was the same colour as the blue collection on my shelf so I may just have to get myself one before they are all gone.

Game of Thrones Season Finale was on so Pat and Bruce headed home just before it began.  They recapped just about the whole season in the previews so we made it in time for the opening.  Everything I was hoping to be happened.

I read the books so I have been anticipating much.  There is so much story that I am sure they will skip over some parts and enhance others.  Last night they set it up great for next season.  Leaving Aria as a cliffhanger.  I cannot wait to see her story.  I am certain she has a major part to play in the story beyond what I have read.

So, Monday arrives and I have much to fix.  It seems that I have been negligent for a couple of months.  Since April to be exact.  It is quite disturbing to me when I forget things and over the past week it has come to my attention that I have neglected quite a bit.

Like all things there are consequences to forgetting important things and for me today, it was a time of phone calls and reapplying on the internet, which is a great option, unless you hit the wrong thing and after three attempts of trying to access original application they make you begin over, so I had to do one job twice and do it correctly the second time.

Of course this just made me beat up on myself a little bit.  Like I need to turn on myself!  I just could not go there so I tended my plants and got ready for a much needed "Talk Therapy" Session.  It was just what the doctor ordered.

I just did not realize how much stress I had.  When I actually laid it all out on the table I have been dealing with a lot of crap not just over the past week, but over the past couple of months with increased  pain, which, as my doc pointed out, longtime doc that he is, that pain does inhibit many things and touches every aspect of my life.

I am exhausted just from looking over this list.  It is no wonder that I have been forgetful, distracted and just not responding, dare I say, normally.  I overlook my pain.  It has been 14 years and if there is one thing I have learned is that if you talk about it, people think you are complaining and no one wants to hear about how bad you feel.

Trust me, I have been down that road.  It was an especially difficult lesson to learn.  Limitations suck and pain does to.  It is better to put on a fake smile, do your hair and put on something that makes you feel look good and feel better.  Fake it till you make it with a twist.

I am not going to begin complaining here.  Life is what it is.  I remain confident and positive about my pending Neurosurgeon appointment.   Positive thinking is the way I am going.  I am just so thankful on a sidenote that the sun was warm and bright today.  I really needed the time I spent just absorbing the sunshine on my back porch this morning.

Thomas beckons so I am out ~ have a good night everyone!

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