Today was an interesting day in my world. I have been feeling bad physically, emotionally and mentally for a couple/few weeks/months and today was thankfully a normally scheduled Monday. Which means that I was back on the usual Monday afternoon chat with my doc, which at times I feel like it is more a social visit rather than a therapy session and it hasn't been normal day/time for two weeks due to vacation and my own medical appointments out of town, etc.
Today's visit was more of a much needed meltdown than a social visit ~ that is to say that shit got real and deep. Not that that is a bad thing, no indeed, sometimes you just have to face reality and admit when you are scared.
Sometimes, that is the only way to get down to the base of things in order to get your thoughts back in order and categorize and prioritize. My brain has been all over the place lately, normally that is a good thing but when I am worried about myself on top of everything else I am useless. I could feel myself on the brink of useless, despite all I have to do and that is not a place I want to go ~ ever ~ period.
So I spoke my fear out loud and felt like crap and then my brain got back together and before the hour was over and I was walking back out into the real world ~ a bright and sunny day ~ hot and just the way I like them. It was uplifting and just what the doctor ordered.
I was on a mission to pick up some ingredients I needed as I had decided before I left the house to make a jambalaya for dinner and I needed chicken stock and diced tomatoes to pull it off. I didn't get too far on my way before I saw the lovely and also uplifting Judge Rudy and we conversed for a good length of time.
Judges may retire, but they never change and this man always asks the most interesting questions of me. He never remembers how we met but he always recognizes me. I, most recently had the pleasure of being seated near him at the Opera Notte at the Whitney ~ he was the man being scolded during an Opera in Italian, which the memory of that always makes me smile.
I had to take my leave from the good Judge to get my errands started so I could get home. Since it was a warm day there were more people out and about but I was kind of lost in thought as I made my way to the opposite end of North Street finally making it to my destination.
I almost gave up looking for what I needed, turned to walk away, turned back around and looked up and spotted the Chicken Stock and then spotted the tomatoes further down on the shelf and then I turned and a friend of mine was standing right next to me!
It was a nicer walk back home with the company. I got to meet a partially adopted cat who let me pet him (although he did not get up and come to me), it occupies my friends porch part time and he has been nurturing a relationship with it for some time and has just named it Clawdius, which is a cool honour to be sure!
I walked the longer way home, avoiding the Park and the "trouble" at the end of the street. I was not up to dealing with him if he were there today. I was looking forward to cooking up the Jambalaya and hurried home, made a tea ~ caught up with my son and my games.
I got to speak to another friend who had phoned. The day was getting better. I like it when the universe gives me what I need and sometimes you see and others you don't. I went and checked the mail and got my reward for supporting WMHT ~ Season 1-4 of Downton Abbey with Season 5 being sent after the first episode airs ~ yup ~ the universe was talking and I was listening!
I got in the kitchen and began cooking. Nothing (except driving, walking,thinking) (okay a few things so sue me!) makes me feel better than cooking. I began heating oil and searing chicken, cutting the peppers and onions and the fresh garlic while that cooked.
The smell of the veg sauteing in the pain while I chopped up the chicken and threw in the spices and seasoning, adding the tomatoes, the rice and the chicken stock ~ the smells and the colours ~ waiting for it to boil ~ then simmer down and meld those flavours together into an amazing mixture of deliciousness!!!
I had to visually instruct Thomas the proper setting for the clothes to actually dry after a laundry mishap the other day ~ so we did that and he explored some remnants of our old life ~ part of his dirt bike, a nice axe that we used to chop our firewood with...
When we got upstairs the Jambalaya was ready to turn down to simmer and cover so we got some quality t.v. time in while the food cooked. We were commenting on school starting and Ainsley going back to school and 10 minutes later the phone rang ~ Ainsley's house!!!
I ran down to answer and it was my little monkey girl!! I was very happy and excited to hear from her. I could tell by the way that she wasn't talking that she had a question, so I asked her if she wanted to ask me anything ~ she immediately, and quickly asked if she could come over on Friday.
My calendar is empty as it could be so she could have whatever day she wanted and I wrote her in pen ~ she asked her Mom and then she said ~ did you write it down? I said yup ~ then she said she wasn't sure ~ fingers crossed ~ I told her she was there (in pen) and we would confirm Wednesday.
It is a holiday weekend ~ something which is easy to forget~ they may have plans and that is okay but school is coming and I want to get a few sleepovers in over the next month before I am useless (as a gramma) for the recovery.
She is excited and wants to bring her big box of crayons, I told her I got some paper and other supplies so it looks like it may be an Art Sleepover as well! I cannot wait to see how much she has grown since I last saw her ~ which seems like forever ago!
I went back to watch the program with my son, giving the pan a stir and checking the rice ~ not quite there yet, so I left it as it was. it was tempting not to take a bowl of it then. T-Moose and I finished were watching some Ice Cream themed cooking show we had never seen and it was pretty good.
It was making me hungry so I went down to check the food ~ it was good, and hot, so I turned off the pan and left the lid on deciding to let it cool down a bit before trying it. That lasted about ten minutes and I tell you ~ it was the right amount of every flavour with a nice kick to it.
I did manage to get quite a bit done today between caring for the garden ~ which is getting there, the dishes and three separate loads of laundry and a nice healthy meal ~ I hope I sleep well tonight! I think I have more than earned a good nights sleep. What would be better than that would be a day waking up awake and refreshed for once ~ I won't hold my breath but a girl can hope!
p.s. damn, this Jambalaya is good!!!
Today's visit was more of a much needed meltdown than a social visit ~ that is to say that shit got real and deep. Not that that is a bad thing, no indeed, sometimes you just have to face reality and admit when you are scared.
Sometimes, that is the only way to get down to the base of things in order to get your thoughts back in order and categorize and prioritize. My brain has been all over the place lately, normally that is a good thing but when I am worried about myself on top of everything else I am useless. I could feel myself on the brink of useless, despite all I have to do and that is not a place I want to go ~ ever ~ period.
So I spoke my fear out loud and felt like crap and then my brain got back together and before the hour was over and I was walking back out into the real world ~ a bright and sunny day ~ hot and just the way I like them. It was uplifting and just what the doctor ordered.
I was on a mission to pick up some ingredients I needed as I had decided before I left the house to make a jambalaya for dinner and I needed chicken stock and diced tomatoes to pull it off. I didn't get too far on my way before I saw the lovely and also uplifting Judge Rudy and we conversed for a good length of time.
Judges may retire, but they never change and this man always asks the most interesting questions of me. He never remembers how we met but he always recognizes me. I, most recently had the pleasure of being seated near him at the Opera Notte at the Whitney ~ he was the man being scolded during an Opera in Italian, which the memory of that always makes me smile.
I had to take my leave from the good Judge to get my errands started so I could get home. Since it was a warm day there were more people out and about but I was kind of lost in thought as I made my way to the opposite end of North Street finally making it to my destination.
I almost gave up looking for what I needed, turned to walk away, turned back around and looked up and spotted the Chicken Stock and then spotted the tomatoes further down on the shelf and then I turned and a friend of mine was standing right next to me!
It was a nicer walk back home with the company. I got to meet a partially adopted cat who let me pet him (although he did not get up and come to me), it occupies my friends porch part time and he has been nurturing a relationship with it for some time and has just named it Clawdius, which is a cool honour to be sure!
I walked the longer way home, avoiding the Park and the "trouble" at the end of the street. I was not up to dealing with him if he were there today. I was looking forward to cooking up the Jambalaya and hurried home, made a tea ~ caught up with my son and my games.
I got to speak to another friend who had phoned. The day was getting better. I like it when the universe gives me what I need and sometimes you see and others you don't. I went and checked the mail and got my reward for supporting WMHT ~ Season 1-4 of Downton Abbey with Season 5 being sent after the first episode airs ~ yup ~ the universe was talking and I was listening!
I got in the kitchen and began cooking. Nothing (except driving, walking,thinking) (okay a few things so sue me!) makes me feel better than cooking. I began heating oil and searing chicken, cutting the peppers and onions and the fresh garlic while that cooked.
The smell of the veg sauteing in the pain while I chopped up the chicken and threw in the spices and seasoning, adding the tomatoes, the rice and the chicken stock ~ the smells and the colours ~ waiting for it to boil ~ then simmer down and meld those flavours together into an amazing mixture of deliciousness!!!
I had to visually instruct Thomas the proper setting for the clothes to actually dry after a laundry mishap the other day ~ so we did that and he explored some remnants of our old life ~ part of his dirt bike, a nice axe that we used to chop our firewood with...
When we got upstairs the Jambalaya was ready to turn down to simmer and cover so we got some quality t.v. time in while the food cooked. We were commenting on school starting and Ainsley going back to school and 10 minutes later the phone rang ~ Ainsley's house!!!
I ran down to answer and it was my little monkey girl!! I was very happy and excited to hear from her. I could tell by the way that she wasn't talking that she had a question, so I asked her if she wanted to ask me anything ~ she immediately, and quickly asked if she could come over on Friday.
My calendar is empty as it could be so she could have whatever day she wanted and I wrote her in pen ~ she asked her Mom and then she said ~ did you write it down? I said yup ~ then she said she wasn't sure ~ fingers crossed ~ I told her she was there (in pen) and we would confirm Wednesday.
It is a holiday weekend ~ something which is easy to forget~ they may have plans and that is okay but school is coming and I want to get a few sleepovers in over the next month before I am useless (as a gramma) for the recovery.
She is excited and wants to bring her big box of crayons, I told her I got some paper and other supplies so it looks like it may be an Art Sleepover as well! I cannot wait to see how much she has grown since I last saw her ~ which seems like forever ago!
I went back to watch the program with my son, giving the pan a stir and checking the rice ~ not quite there yet, so I left it as it was. it was tempting not to take a bowl of it then. T-Moose and I finished were watching some Ice Cream themed cooking show we had never seen and it was pretty good.
It was making me hungry so I went down to check the food ~ it was good, and hot, so I turned off the pan and left the lid on deciding to let it cool down a bit before trying it. That lasted about ten minutes and I tell you ~ it was the right amount of every flavour with a nice kick to it.
I did manage to get quite a bit done today between caring for the garden ~ which is getting there, the dishes and three separate loads of laundry and a nice healthy meal ~ I hope I sleep well tonight! I think I have more than earned a good nights sleep. What would be better than that would be a day waking up awake and refreshed for once ~ I won't hold my breath but a girl can hope!
p.s. damn, this Jambalaya is good!!!
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