Wednesday, August 13, 2014


My life seems to have taken on a new phase lately ~ or in reality it is a hop back onto a ride I have been off for some time now and that is the Medical Attention phase.  Though not up to the point is was back 15 years ago when two accidents within four months of each other and the multitude of trips to the Pain Clinic, the P.C. Physician, the Chiropractor, the Physical Therapist, the Lab and the Pharmacy ~ my life was an endless merry go round of medical appointments.

After my surgery to replace a damaged disc it was more Medical Merry Go Round and the Long Road to Recovery.  Thank God for youth and strength and three young sons to care for and keep me going - than before but not out.  I learned to adjust over time to my inabilities and learned to adjust my activities to what I could do and listen to my body and stop when I needed to.

Some days it took me a couple of hours just to wash a sink full of dishes, with breaks in between.  The hardest part was recognizing limits.  For a girl with no limits it was rough.  I was in bed most nights after dinner.

I built up my endurance for pain and my abilities.  I tried to keep fit and strong, eat right and not poison the body any more than necessary with the medication I was prescribed.  They fixed me up as well as they could.  It was up to me to do the rest.

For many years I let my pain control my life.  My life revolved around it.  I learned how to block it out as best as I could without medication after I stopped taking it in 2008.  Not because my pain was gone, but because of reasons beyond my control.

I did not seek out more medication ~ nor did I stop living.  I actually began living within my pain.  Sure, sometimes I made plans and couldn't keep them because of pain, and sometimes I did things and then couldn't move for days because of pain.  Either way it is there.  I weigh and measure ~ is the fun going to be worth the resulting pain?

I went to the Doctor's in October when I was having issues with my mobility.  I walk a lot.  I gave up my car to "lessen" my carbon footprint.  I now think that was a mistake, but I was under a lot of pressure when I made that decision.

I know in my head that I was having issues before going in October.  I am stubborn.  I like to hope and pretend that if I ignore a thing that I don't like it will go away.  (Silly woman that I am!)  With more frequent mobility issues and more concerned than my Primary doctor, I sought the help of my Neurosurgeon to diagnose what is going on.

I have been pretty quiet about it.  I try not to share my dysfunctions with the rest of the world, people tend not to believe a disability they cannot see with their eyes - and I for one choose to keep my pain from all but my nearest and dearest and even then I make light of it.

Like I said, if I ignore it it isn't there...My doctor sent me to his guy to get a myleogram where they inject dye into the spine and get a clear reading of what is going on.  I did that on Monday with bed rest for two days and a trip back on Thursday with Dr. D.

That was the plan until I got not one, not two, but three calls from my Neurosurgeon Wednesday morning when I was headed back to bed to do my rest and recoup with Cary Grant around 10:30 in the morning.  Cup of tea and all set.

They wanted to see me at 3:00 today!  So much for bed rest.  On the phone trying to catch a ride ~ without enough time to set up transportation and it was pouring out to top it off, I had my work cut out for me.  I took the off chance that my son's Dad had done the tires on his car ~ negative, phoned my other son in hopes he had the day off, not today!  My one yes was leery since their tires were shot as well so I called one more person and they were also tied up.

I confirmed the appointment and jumped in the shower, planning on leaving by noon to leave room for the rain and road conditions.  It was a scary ride with poor visibility.  For the most part it was clear sailing until the rain really came down and there were cars everywhere!

You could not see the car in front of you until you were on top of it.  Before Exit 4 my life was almost flashing before my eyes and I was praying to many gods to look over me and get me there to find out what is up from my results.

Somehow we arrived an hour early and the skies were spitting out buckets!  We killed some time in the Baystate Medical Cafeteria and indulged in some Sushi, a Panini and a calming cup of Earl Grey with Real Sugar ~my favourite!  I am now (since this week a fan of Sushi and Wasabi).  I, who am deathly afraid of raw fish ~ taking chances and living to tell about it!  Wonders will never cease!

With still a half hour to spare we ducked out to have a smoke before walking through the maze of the hospital into the Medical Office building with a small wrong turn down the Orange Corridor (that must have been from Monday's visit), retracing steps and finally finding the right part of the hospital and floor of the office.

Worried, but not panicked I checked in and waited almost no time at all heading straight for the cot after the PA left the room after getting my vitals.  Unable to sit or stand any more ~ thankful but hating messing up the bed I had no choice.

Dr. K entered and told me I could stay there and went over my results, asked me some questions and left the room.  When he came back in I was in his chair looking at the image of my spine and neck fusion and a couple of white lines across my spine.  He thought he had the wrong room since I wasn't on the cot so it was my turn to laugh at him from his chair at his desk.

He told me that he needed to go in through the back of my neck this time and do surgery through this little plastic tube (which I thought he was going to insert in my spine and I was thinking it was big and how - until it was flipped into perspective and then I wondered how he was going to do surgery in such a small tube!).

That was a little bit of a relief ~ he took a model of the spine and showed me with the tube what he was going to do.  My spinal column is shrinking and he needs to open some space in three places to clear up some nerve compression and relieve some pressure.  No big deal.

I am now thinking it is a good thing that I did get the transportation approval and that I have two trips remaining for this month.  I have to go through some kind of physical to make sure my heart, kidney, liver, etc, are okay and then under the knife I go.

Did I mention how much I trust and respect this Doctor?  When he says come I come and when he says you are broken and I can fix you I believe him because he has already proven to me that he does what he says.  I do not have that faith in just anyone ~ especially since 2008!

My Thursday road trip is out and I am thankful for that since today was unexpected.  I do not expect that I will be up for too much.  I have been dragging confined to my bed and thankful for it.  Boredom hasn't had a chance to set in since sleep has a way of taking over when I least expect it!

I need to rest up for Saturday and my one obligation at Barrington Stage Company ~ "Dancing Lessons" opens August 7 through 24 and I cannot wait to see how it goes!  I was there for the reading of it before it got transformed into a play and am excited to see if my visualization comes out like the show itself!  I will let you know!

I have oodles more that I have been dying to share, but with my restrictions I have been unable to do so ~ I owe you a few and believe me you will get it whether you want it or not (when I am able!)

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