Friday, June 12, 2015




Sierra sat thinking about recent events in her life.  Recently it had taken on a whole new twist.  Her mother who she had been estranged from got hurt and required care and she was expected to do it, despite their almost non existent relationship.  Since her sister, Lisa, lived far away and she had no relationship with their Mother for 17 years.

Sierra loved her mother very much despite the strange relationship they had.  She grew up with her father and was not allowed to see her mother due to some issues her parents had.  Talk about strained relationship!  

Sierra was a rebel though, and despite what her Dad said, she did not feel it was right and saw her mother anyway.  They had always been close, more like friends than Mother and daughter, - most of the time.

They had gone years and years when she was a child without seeing each other, each day more painful than the next until her Mom would show up at her Grandparents house where she eagerly waited each weekend in the hopes she would show up.

When Mom did show up Sierra was the happiest little girl in the world.  She and her Gram would bake cream puffs since her Mom loved them so much.  When her Mom arrived she would have stories galore about her exciting life of adventure and travel, or so it seemed to her. 

Everyone would rejoice and the world would be alright for a little while.  Then the visit would end.  Mom would leave and I would go home to Dads.  Dad hated those times and when I returned home after seeing Mom.  I would get a heap of hate and end up in my room crying.

Finding herself caring for a parent who spent more time living their life not thinking about anyone else, not even considering the pain and heartache which her absence had caused in her heart and her soul, the feeling of worthlessness and not being good enough to be loved carried over into everything, every day of her life.

When her Mom remarried (twice) it was like she and Lisa didn't even exist.  The first time Mom remarried I was in 7th grade.  My Grand-parents picked me up just to go to the wedding.  I can;t even remember if Lisa went.  The wedding itself was at the Justice of the Peace with a huge party full of my Mom and her Dan's Biker friends, it was quite a scene.

We didn't stay long, just long enough to officially meet and greet my new Dad.  They gave me presents which I still have to this day for some strange reason.  I really liked Shaun, he was nice.
Of course it was over before it even began.  They had made an agreement that if it didn't work out in three months they would end it.  I thought that was strange, having different values than that.  Marriage to me is a contract between two people and God, not to be held so lightly.

So Mom hit the road again, or maybe she stayed nearby.  One never knew with her.  She could be right next door and you would never know it.  Then one day she would appear in my life and I would be off on a whirlwind eating up every spare minute I could spare despite the ramifications, and there were always ramifications.

1 comment:

  1. Excellent, as usual. Watch out jumping from 3rd person speak to 1st person, ( ie 6th paragraph and some following)