THE WAITING IS THE HARDEST PART

I anxiously await eleven o'clock with excitement!  I have been very productive, baking a golden yellow cake from scratch yesterday with homemade butter cream frosting to go along with a special welcome home dinner tonight.  Planning a dinner and having my friend Mike hit the market for me while he was out at that end of the world.  Good friends do not just offer to help, when you actually ask - they follow through and do not disappoint!  Thank you +Mike Pezzo for going out of your way for a damsel in distress!

Last night we had our final visit in the hospital, the exchange of dirty clothes and books and things collected to make the stay more comfortable, leaving clean clothes for departure today.  My son ordered pizza to share with the other patients and staff on the floor in order to celebrate his release.  Everyone had a good time!

I can tell you the excitement is building as time nears!  I finally put away the cartons of Christmas decorations which have been taking up space in my dining room in order to prepare the room - which had been looking like the overflow area for a month now!  Considering it took ten whole minutes out of my life, I am a little embarrassed I had not done it sooner - that is motivation for you!

I have a wonderful dinner planned.  My son requested steak so I took out London Broil which will be marinating for the afternoon in preparation for the broiling later.  Homemade Mac and Cheese, thanks to Mike hitting the supermarket for me, some garlic mashed potatoes, green beans and the dessert, I think we have this one covered!  It feels so good to be doing "normal" activities!

I tried to phone my Dad two days in a row now, and "your call is important to me, so please call back" welcomed me, yet my phone still hasn't rung.  His loss totally!  I hope he is okay, considering when I told him of my sons illness he was going through his own things.  I even tried the cell phone and you know he is not answering that either!  He probably thinks I want to impose on him and get a ride to the food pantry which I have missed for one month now due to his caring more about his friends than his family.

I am not surprised.  Story of my life.  Daddy, how long do you think I will wait around for you this time, I wonder?  I think this girl needs to rethink priorities as far as he is concerned as actions do speak louder than words and his actions speak volumes, the same old story, with a different ending this time I know - regardless of what a bad daughter it makes me to not care anymore.

He would rather get taken advantage of by his "friends" than have me point out just what is going on.  Not my worry, not my job.  Now do you understand why I consider my children my family and not my extended family as my family?  This is normal, and I normally just accept it!  Well his loss!  He has always been welcome in our family until he leaves us in the dust.  It bothers me none the less!

I am not going to let his behaviour affect our happiness ever again.  Do you think he will notice, or will it be the next major holiday when he calls to invite himself over that he realizes that he needs to spend it elsewhere?  Do I have the courage or the ability to even do that?  I wonder?!!?

The more things change, the more they stay the same!  I guess if I felt that I was feeling this way out of meanness or jealousy or something like that I would feel bad, but since I am doing this to break the enabling of a pattern it doesn't fit in that category.  So the focus will remain on my celebration and not give a flying fig!  It would have been nice if Granpa was around though!

I must run and get ready to pick up my son.  There is much to do with the meal and the snowstorm coming in later today!  So far nothing is going on weather wise!  I knew it would not be starting after midnight last night!!!  I am most thankful for that!

Hope you all stay well if you are in storm areas!  I am more concerned that we have tornadoes flying around when it is not even tornado season more so than the storm that will probably devastate NYC and Boston!  Glad I live in the mountains - I just wish I had my wood stove and was at home in the country which is a fading memory!

Keep well and be safe!