Wednesday, February 27, 2013


Success to me has never been measured by money or material objects, but in doing a job well done the first time, solving a problem (or many at once), in raising three boys and watching each one graduate, no jail no unwed pregnancies.

Today, my success was in finally reaching yet another goal and overcoming the loss of my Dad's involvement in my life by finding my own way to a more accessible food resource, closer to home and with great rewards.  Thankfully I did not have to walk in this horrible weather in the Berkshires today, but I can if I need to!

Sowing the rewards from today's adventure I am thankful for the half a chicken, carrots, potatoes and onions  as I smell an amazing chicken stock cooking on my stove for a fine meal tomorrow.  The nice marinara sauce simmering on the stove for our meal tonight, made more complete with the jar of sauce to add to my own hamburg and sausage and the loaf of nice Italian garlic bread to accompany said meal this evening.

While I would love to be a financial success, and I do think the winds of change will be blowing my way in the maybe not so near future, but one that is not too far in the distance, my accidents back  in the late 90's kind of put that on hold - as the timing was just before a great promotion in a managerial position in the marketing company I worked for in the lead room.  Murphy's Law strikes again.

Without that accident though, I never would have had the opportunity to buy my home in the country, a modest little place, yet one which was ideal to raise two of my boys away from the strife and struggle of drugs and gangs in my home town, and recover in the comfort and privacy of my castle.

If you have been reading right along, you would know that I made some New Years resolutions and I have already successfully completed one of them and am back in control of my medical part, while I have to wait til May for a meeting with my new doctor, having done this step I have been able to see another of my Doc's after two years of missing out due to him going into private practice and insurance/primary doctor issues.

The second huge resolution I have made deals with a legal and financial mess which just compounded while I was stuck in place and which will take a bit more work and money.  The latter is still holding me up, at least it is not just me being stuck in place!  Time and paperwork is what will resolve that - once I have a little bit more money stashed for the endeavor.

Rome wasn't built in a day however and neither will be the restructuring of my life, to once again have the financial freedom and perhaps to be able to answer my phone again and open mail would be nice after five years of not being mentally able to face these issues head on.

The fact that I am not worrying my head off every minute of every day, or sitting still while my life passes me by, as I have done for most of the time, getting out in the world with a new and different outlook, networking with people, volunteering, seeing and accepting the reality of just about every situation from my ex husband to my ex parents, have been difficult, but so freeing!

Seeing my sons stand with me to be supportive of each other and me is priceless.  Knowing I raised them, they are strong, unique and diverse individuals who are primarily happy if not successful by the rest of the world's standards is a huge affirmation to me!  If I died today I would truly pass a very happy woman.

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