Saturday, October 5, 2013

THE UPS AND DOWNS OF MY LIFE

I have been seriously pushing my limits lately and that all came to a head early Friday morning when I tried to roll over in bed and could not move to do so around 3:45 a.m.  I managed to get into a sitting position and stand up only to be unable to fully stand ~ let alone walk across the room to walk downstairs to use the bathroom.

I was paralyzed, holding onto the dresser and wondering how in the hell I was going to let go and head to the stairs, a feat which I accomplished by sheer willpower and determination alone.  I managed to get to the top of the stairs and faced the obstacle of going down the stairs with tears in my eyes and pain encompassing every move!

Stopping in the dining room to lean on a wall and rest ~ I noticed my son, still awake and embroiled in a battle on the computer.  On one hand I was mad as hell as we just had a conversation about his late hours and changing them and here he was up later than ever!  On the other hand ~ I was grateful that I had someone to ask for help to make it across the kitchen and into the bathroom.

Being in serious pain sucks!!  It had begun around 1:00 the previous day with stabbing pains in my right lung which increased with every step and movement.  By 4:00 I was seriously contemplating how I was supposed to go to a fancy dress up event that evening and stand and converse with people.

By 5:00 I had decided that I couldn't even envision this at all.  I love to dress up and be around people more than the average bear and had been looking forward to this event for a couple of weeks.  Sadly, I phoned my friend and had to cancel out ~ something I almost never do ~ but I just could not even begin to think about faking it ~ I am not that good of an actress!

Thinking that it was my cold dropped into my chest, I got into p.j.'s and slathered a ton of Vick's on my chest to try to relieve the pain ~ although my chest didn't feel congested I did not think it could hurt.  I had some dinner and had a quiet night in bed watching t.v. until I awoke in the middle of the night.

I have a chronic pain issue which I have had since 1999/2000 which I generally try to ignore.  I do not take medications ~ I used to but they really do a number on your body and I really like to be somewhat healthy.  I do not even take aspirin unless it is extreme and when you have a chronic pain issue extreme for me would be level 20 pains as opposed to the level 12 pain I woke up with.

As you may know if you read my blog ~ I have issues with Doctors and hospitals as well, but I found it necessary with this particular pain to go to the hospital.  I got dressed somehow and headed out of my house in the darkness of the early morning.  I was amazed at how warm it was and grateful it was so early that no one saw me walking and crying with each step.

The walk normally would take me about 20 minutes to the hospital.  It took me nearly an hour to walk there, although I must say it did get easier walking after a while ~ except for when I had to stop and cough for a couple minutes at a time before I could continue on my way.

For a change the E.R. was dead.  There was also no one at the desk so it took a few minutes to get someones attention and get checked in.  I stood while they checked me in the first room and paced until I got into the second room and clarified what "multiple complaints" meant since it was easier for the first lady to write that than what the "multiple complaints" were ~ passing the buck!

The girl made me sit down to take my temp and blood pressure.  It turned out to be a big mistake.  When I tried to stand up I could not straighten up again ~ evil body which I own!  I was taken into a room in the back and I eyed the bed not sure if I should even attempt to lay down.

I am an idiot so I laid down and waited for the doctor who came in within ten minutes or so ~ sat in a chair and asked me what was going on and in the middle of what was going on answered a silent phone and carried on a conversation for a couple of minutes swinging his leg and tapping the bed sending flashes of pain through my body!  I asked him if he minded not doing that and he stopped.

When he got off the phone he told me to sit up ~ like that was an easy task ~ HA!  I managed to sit up and he asked me where specifically it hurt and I tried to point it out ~ not being able to really reach the area and then he began checking out and pounding on my back ~ are you kidding me!  Asking me if it hurt ~ wow are you an idiot I was thinking as he slammed me very hard on my back and then checking for pain in my abdomen.

He listened to my lungs and heart and decided that I needed a chest x-ray and a e.k.g and left the room.  I waited a fair amount of time for the X~ray lady but she was nice ~ until she moved my shoulders forward and a fresh burst of pain slammed me almost on my ass and a fresh batch of tears as she apologized for the pain.

I told her not to worry about it and she managed to take the x-ray and brought me back to my room to wait for the e.k.g.  After about ten minutes with me standing in the doorway another nurse who was sitting at the desk asked me if I had gotten my e.k.g. and when I said no she went to get a machine and made me lay down on that bed again.

By this time my neck was in agony after all that pounding on my back.  The nurse hooked me up and while she was finishing the doctor arrived with another machine ~ I asked him what that was and he said he was going to do a sonogram on my gallbladder ~ I told him good luck as it had been removed in 1989 (something he would have known if he listened to my "any major surgery response".

So, me being in huge pain and dealing with stupid when I am trying to get much needed help does nothing to enhance my usual good nature ~ especially at 5:45 a.m. from a medical professional!  I shook my head and tried to laugh it off but come on now really!!!

On top of that with a clear chest x ray and the best e.k.g. (no smoking lecture for a change) the nurse hands me lower back discharge sheets ~ which made me shake my head even more because my lower back was never an issue!!!

I left the hospital to walk home.  It was much cooler outside now and I was fueled with the "stupid" energy and the desire to get home and call my own doctor the second they opened up to get the advice of someone I trusted as I was not happy with the results of my trip to the emergency room.

The day seemed to go from bad to WTF ~ when I phoned at 8:01 and both of the emergency slots were already filled ~ already!  The soonest my doc could see me was Monday according to the receptionist from hell.  I took that appointment and tried to keep calm and carry on ~ not really sure what that would look like.

Thanks to some great support from many of my friends on the computer I managed to change my attitude to be more fitting for me.  I also got a call from the receptionist with a 3:00 appointment that day.  I still had to go do my errands so I took a really hot shower and left early for my appointment to get things done before said appointment.

It was First Friday ArtWalk and everyone was setting up getting ready for the night of shows.  I had misjudged how long it would take to do my errands and peeked in at Mary's Carrot Cake where Scott Taylor was showing and he was there so I checked out his "Fresh Paint" and chatted with he and Jackie Kearns -another amazing artist who was also showing that evening at Bisque, Beads and Beyond.

I still had too much time left so I decided to grab some Won Ton Soup, ordering my son's favorite meal to bring home (minus the soup) as my friends from South Carolina and I were getting together later for Maine Lobster ~ something they can't get in S.C., which I selflessly offered to let them cook at my house as long as they got me one as well and Thomas doesn't eat lobster hence the Chinese food for him.

Finally it was time for my doctors and I went through everything with her and she listened to my chest ~ still clear and had me lay on her table.  She is an Osteopath and she soon determined the muscles in my back were so tight it was causing the horrible pain I was experiencing.

She gave me an tool to help loosen it which I have to do using a towel and explained what I had to do to loosen my back and focus on my breathing and get my rib cage to actually move (which normal peoples do naturally).  And I left feeling a little bit better and more relaxed.

I was determined to go to ArtWalk even if for just a short while ~ besides walking and moving were easier than sitting or lying down and soon enough it was almost 5:00.  I spoke to my friends and we finalized our plans for when they arrived back from a road trip to Springfield.

My son kept calling me and finally as I was headed to my last place I wanted to see he decided to meet me.  My friends hadn't phoned yet, and I was worried as I could have walked to Springfield in the time that had passed.  (Not really but almost).  I met my son and skipped the last place and revisited a couple of artists whose work I thought he would like instead and my friends finally phoned.

I told them that we would meet them at my house and they beat me there!  It was good to see them and we got the water on the stove and visited in the living room.  Old time friends, Wendy and I knew each other before we had children and Tom and Tori were like two peas in a pod when they were little ~ before they moved to Florida.

The last time we had seen each other was in New Ashford about 8 or 9 years ago when they came up for a visit.  Not much changes despite the time passing, but we still had much to chat about.  It is really strange for me to see the passage of time in children turning into young adults.

I put a lobster in the boiling water and my son was watching and I asked him if he wanted to do one and he said "No ~ it has eyes ~ I can't do that" Tori wouldn't even come in the room!  So I was forced to be the lobster killer!

It was worth it ~ they were delicious and it was fun watching Tori cracking open her lobster as she has never done it before and to listen to Tom say how gross we were for liking lobster in the first place.  Wendy was an expert and had hers done in no time!  I am not bad at it but was the last one done eating as I savoured every morsel!

We parted company as they still had a 45 minute drive to where they were staying and planned on getting together today if my plans for hiking fell through, and they told Thomas that regardless if I was home or not he had better answer the phone the next day when they called.

I headed up to bed with my heating pad which goes in my bear (same premise as the rolled towel for me only with heat include) and I tried to relax my back after the longest day in my life almost!  I was thankful that it helped and woke up this morning feeling much better and able to stand up straight and walk downstairs no problem!

I was wondering what time my day would begin when my friend I had hiking plans phoned and decided for me that I should not overdo it today to get some rest to be in shape for Sunday's busy day.  That kind of sucked because I really wanted to go on the guided tour of Wachonah Falls.  I knew he was right however, as in reality I had limited energy to go along with the limited pain.

I had some tea and was going to go back to bed with  my heating pad when Tori phoned to see if "we" wanted to go to Bartlett's Apple Orchard with them a short way away.  I tried to wake up Thomas who was having no part of it and I got in the shower after I finished my tea.

Tori was at my door before I was ready, so I let her in and got dressed while she went in and made Thomas get up and come with us ~ threatening not to leave without him.  (I wonder how these people manage the impossible?)  He got up and was ready almost before I was!

We headed to one of the local cemeteries to visit a mutual friend, but it was just after noon and no one was there, sadly.  But, on a brighter note, I know where my old friend Paul Marshall is buried now thanks to Wendy showing me and I got to pay my respects to a friend that left the planet way to soon!

We headed to Bartlett's and it was hopping with activity.  The apple cinnamon donuts smelled amazing and it was hard to resist the urge to get a bunch of them but I did.  I took a few pictures while the dog stretched her legs and the girls ate there donuts before we headed to Lee to go pay our respects in another cemetery to Wendy's Mom and Grandma and visit her living Uncle and Aunt.

The foliage was beautiful as we traveled roads I hadn't been on in a while and I pray it holds out the week as I have another friend coming up from Florida at the end of the week who I told the foliage should still be good ~ fingers crossed it will last!

We said our goodbyes to Tori and Wendy and left them to go and visit some more of there family ~ knowing we probably will not see them for another few years.  I was glad I had the opportunity, but I was beat so Tom and I decided to watch some t.v. and I needed my heating pad again.  We both fell asleep watching television!

October is turning out to be a very social month - it just may turn out to be my favourite month of the entire year!  Now if I could just shake this cold!  I have an extra special weekend next weekend as my lovely granddaughter is sleeping over my house on Saturday!  An event that is more valuable to me than anything and I want to be the same for her as well!


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