Wednesday, March 5, 2014

LOST TIME

I have no excuses for not writing over the previous five days ~ it is already the fifth of March ~ flying by quicker than the speed of my fingers on the keyboard.  This whole winter has flown by rather rapidly.  No cabin fever this year (no fly experiments thus far either!)

I am barely awake as I type this.  Guilt is my motivator today.  I opened up this blank page before my tea is even done heating in the microwave ~ I continue to type through the beep ~ five minutes before at least more before I can turn it into my morning ambrosia.

I have been somewhat productive and busy ~ joining an intimate group of Creators on Saturday at the Whit ~ there were only five or maybe six people in attendance.  We chatted about art styles and inspiration of work and motivation as well.

I felt comfortable in this group.  Funny thing for me ~ feeling comfortable with a group of people!  I stepped further out of my comfort zone and went over to my new friend Lisa's house and checked out her cute attic apartment!

I am amazed by all the angles and eves and pretty coloured windows.  Making it comfortable and functionable.  She has the same situation I did ~ moving a house into an apartment!  I know that feeling all too well!

My second apartment after moving out of my house ~ I recall taking over a year to be able to figure out where things should go.  I was forever moving things around.  I eventually got all my stuff how I wanted it and then it was time to go into another impossible apartment.

I am not going to even go into the first apartment after losing my house because I am still trying to figure out if that really happened to me ~ all that craziness which wasn't my craziness for a change (not that I am prone to craziness but it is attracted to me!)

I think it was losing my grandfather and the stress about being around my mother which led me to choose the third one which the sleeping quarters were in the cellar and the living areas were on the first floor~ no one stopped me which is the funny thing.  Looking back I should have known ~ all the druggies in the house should not have been the factor which made me get out and get out fast!

I found (with the help of my brother) a bright, airy and spacious second floor flat ~ great kitchen ~ which was fine ~ my dog liked it and we had good people we greeted everyday and made friends with during our multiple walks.

Then the walls began seeping moisture and mold within a day of the moisture on the sheetrock ~ good times!  It got better with the landlord(s) trying to pass the blame on me ~ slumlords more like it~ they owned the whole street and most of the city was influenced by them in some way which led me flee into a nice cozy half a house which suits me fine right now.

It is home.  As much as it can be.  I am doing my best to like my surroundings.  Amazingly, for the most part I do.  My life isn't what it was, but it is beginning to be a bit satisfying.  I am still working on turning around my childhood and adolescent dislikes of "The Pitts", and doing new and fun things.

I don't think I would like it so much without all of the Art I am exposing myself too.  Most of the artists are wonderful, open and sharing people who don't mind discussing their processes and their work.  I find that a wonderful thing.

Sunday brought me to the second stage of Barrington Theatre for ushering at the second to the last performance of the 10X10 Festival.  Ten ten minute plays with a ten minute break in the middle.  The first one was funny and opened up the show with a "Live from Pittsfield....;" like Saturday Night Live.

The plays ranged from funny to heartbreaking ~ covering depression, alzheimers, demonic possession, among a few ending with a funny Fairy Tale ~ Ushering the guests to their seats was a fun experience as well. I have never been an usher before (thankfully it was one section so my biggest worry was which end to guide them for their seating)

I think I did pretty good!  I only need to work out one thing ~ how not to get trapped being above the people who are standing to make way for the people I am seating so I can get over to where I need to greet people to seat them ~ not to big of a problem but one that happened twice!!!

I have been exploring different styles in my art and writing as well.  Finding old supplies and creating new things ~ exploring how for instance pastels and ink might work together, getting back into my water colours a bit and writing creatively.

Monday I had my normal counseling appointment and covered so much ground and went so far as to actually make some realizations.  I left feeling like I had made some progress and felt better.  Until I hit the cold air which took me on my way to be responsible and do my banking to meet my landlord.

I almost forgot, walking towards home after the bank, that I was supposed to the market and grab some potatoes for dinner- one of the mainstays of our existence here ~ cursing as I turned around to walk the way I needed to go, I kept the shopping to a minimum as I decided on the 8lb bag of potatoes.

That might not seem heavy to you dear readers, but the blocks which I had to walk with that wieght ( my restriction is 5lbs) yeah right ~ I never really ever keep to the 5lb restriction by necessity of life!  Five lbs isn't really a lot.

For a girl who used to fill up the wheelbarrow with wood, well beyond what my football player brother could handle and unload and refill five pounds is a real challenge.  I paid for that potatoe experience ~ am still paying today as a matter of fact ~ my neck and back are done in and my brain and fingers are doing the work today!

The writing last week was a bit dark themed and I have been planning/thinking instead of doing.  Different for me, as I am most comfortable letting my fingers, the keyboard and my brain go on auto and see what comes out.

I slipped into the darkness and strayed from my light and fluffy pieces.  As a matter of fact ~ I have to work on another installment of my story ~ which I was hoping to finish in four parts (and part of the delay is in the thinking about that story and where it should go, where it could go and where it will go!

The rest will be a mystery to all of us, I guess I wont know until it writes itself later today.  (After I meet my deadline on nails for my 2014 writing challenge.  That one is going to be the biggest challenge yet as I have no idea what to write, it may also be the first challenge I do not accept! )


I say that now ~ but I will come through with 150 words ~ it is not in my DNA to quit.  My tea is calling me ~ probably needs to be warmed up by now!

Have a great day and remember to smile and keep warm!


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