ANOTHER DAY ~

Today I woke up feeling like I almost should apologize for yesterdays blog.  It made me feel dirty and un American to hate on my country.  In reality, I love being an American and I am just frustrated at the war and the economy and the total un-American behavior of our Government.

I hate that while so many of us are struggling and being labeled by those "others" who are profiting at the peoples expense and continuing to profit with all of the lobbyists and corporations.  Hell, I am sure if the tides were turned and we could switch places they might be a little less harsh on the "people".

To think that all Americans who are not making six figures are lazy and just looking for a handout is simply ridiculous and untrue.  Sure, there are some spoiled apples in the bucket but it does not apply to everyone!  Once the people that have realize that the people who have not are not all useless scumbags ( my words entirely) the better off the country will be.

I agree with the President about not bargaining with Congress regarding the Shutdown and Debt Ceiling.  I think Congress are being bullies ~ something which most Americans are very much against in general.  As a parent anti-bullying campaigns have been going on for many years.

Terrorists they seem to be ~ placing fear in the heart of the people and the rest of the country.  Truth be told I think that everyone needs to step back and take a breath and take the blackmail and the bullying someplace else!

On a more pleasant note it was a nice sunny and warm day here in the Berkshires.  I got up early and made it out only 15 minutes later than I wanted to leave with a beautiful walk to South Congregational Church to pick up some much needed food ~ thank you again for that option!

I hate running out of food and money and having to stand in line and take a handout ~ but I would rather do that than starve ~ pride does cometh before the fall and I am not too proud to admit that.  When the government let the banks run rampant and I got scammed out of my house with a bad mortgage and I let my perfect credit dissolve I was not expecting this but thankfully it is there.

I doubt I will ever be able to build my life back up to where it is unless I learn something new that I can work within my physical limitations.  I am not getting any younger though and my pain levels are not getting any easier to deal with.

I am trying to figure out a solid course of action.  Legal to be sure.  I do not have the aptitude or the stomach to scam people or sell drugs which seems to be two ways which people are going.  Besides, you need money to make money and I haven't learned how to spin straw into gold!

I have been fortunate to hook up with some really fun and interesting people who keep my spirit alive by inviting me to get involved in volunteering, tell me about the many wonderful free opportunities here in the Berkshires, (many of which you read about in my blog), the City of Pittsfield for sponsoring First Friday ArtWalks and Third Thursday's up until October and Live at the Lake on Wednesdays in the summer (although I missed all of them this year without a ride!)

I have always been a hardworking individual and I go mad at times with my inability to provide for myself ~ something which I have been doing since Junior High School (middle school for you younger folks).  I thank all of the people who let me babysit and wash their tractor trailer trucks and clean their houses when I was a teenager but too young to get a work permit!

Believe me ~ I am not a lazy person ~ just a physically challenged person who pays the price for every bit of work and fun I do and have.  I am grateful that I learned to accept my health issues and choose to live in spite of the pain that that living brings me.  Believe me, if I could find the right opportunity I would be all over it!

Just today I was brainstorming with someone who thinks differently than I do to come up with some creative and hopefully profitable ideas for a better future ~ something which is never too far from my mind.  There is no Knight in Shining Armor or Fairy Godmother with a magic wand coming to make my life better ~ I know that ~ part of the reason life sucks so much is the reality of life on this planet and the crueler reality of the previous 13 years of living with disability, coming to terms with losing everything in 2008 and finally being aware of what I should have done differently in 2013!  When your life is suddenly slammed with the unexpected  it is difficult to know what the correct action is.

With luck, hard work and determination I would like to be more than a useless person living on nothing and lead a more prosperous life.  I am now in the "What was I thinking stage" as in what was I thinking ~ why did I not keep at least one of my three cars?, or why did I try to pay a mortgage instead of my credit cards?

Now I am thinking ~ how do I improve my situation (without finding a man to bail me out) oh yeah for about two seconds I wondered that one ~ but I would not be me if I had gone along with that one at all!  (but it did cross my mind!)

One day I do hope the world will be workable ~ not just for those who already have money, but for our young adults who are wondering how in the hell they are going to begin life in this country and what their version of the American Dream will look like.  Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness would be good on a more balanced level for all of the people and not just a select few!

For now I am going in search of some happiness!  You all have a good night and keep the faith.  Thanks for tolerating my rants!  Peace