Tuesday, December 18, 2012
NEVER IN MY WILDEST DREAMS...
I was also happy that today, there was a pan of sauce and meatballs on the stove all ready to have unexpected company! I delighted in my son and his sweet princess sitting at my table! I could not ask for any more! I am so happy!
Sometimes I wonder, as my sons get older and need me less and less, having more responsibilities and living life, often not having time to remember Mom, but having a week with three visits and the love in the air, the laughter, the conversation and yes the sweet tears the other day when my sweet grand-daughter did not want to leave all make me feel loved! It was hard not to get all mushy!
That makes all the sacrifices worth it in my eyes! All the hours that I worked and had to be away from them, the guilt one suffers as a single parent, torn between what you have to do and what you want to do in order to have a good life, the acceptance of them getting older and allowing them to spend days and weeks away during vacations, knowing that they knew I was just a phone call away, knowing they wouldn't call because I gave them the wings to fly and explore!
Watching my son with his daughter playing and talking about meals and homework. Setting limits yet still having fun! The smile on my grand daughters face - in her eyes as she interacts with my other two sons, not always sweet and cute, but cunning and sly when she comes charging into the room to jump on Tommy as he is lying on the floor, enjoying having all of the family together, something that we all struggled with in reverse when Jeff and then Patrick moved out, as my baby, Tom and I have been through it twice, adapting to life without the boys, but eating up every second of our time under one roof.
I have a big contractor's bag of stuffed animals which were my sons that I didn't have the heart to donate "just in case" and watching my granddaughter trying to drag the bag which weighs three times at least what she does, and getting it to the middle of the room and tipping it upside down, trying to lift the end to pour the mountain of plush toys on the floor and join them in delight is a memory I will keep forever and tease her about for years to come as she gets older.
Bringing her upstairs in my room where my "special" collection of stuffed animals are and letting her hug my softest plushest treasures, watching her eyes go big as she spots my purple winged unicorn, makes me so happy, asking timidly if she can play with it! Knowing how special it is and how special she is (I hope, hope, hope!!)
Loving this child and happy that she loves me - she has two other grandma's and I am her newest as my son and her Mom just got married a few months ago after three or four years together. I always wanted a daughter, told my boys I would settle for a granddaughter, she exceeds my wildest dreams as far as a granddaughter goes!
I look forward to continue watching this sweet girl grow and accepting wholeheartedly the love that she has for me and multiply her love by a million in return!!
I love the affirmation of a close knit family! Life is good!!