Today did not turn out how I planned at all. Not a bad thing, in this instance, considering I really had nothing to motivate me after yesterday's adventures of over shopping, and then having to carry everything home from the supermarket intact.
I say intact, because, besides just grabbing the hot dogs and rolls like I planned, and spotting the 3lb bag of Vidalia Onions (which I can never resist) , needing green peppers to go along with the onions, then of course what is onions and peppers without some red meat, and there were two nice steaks sitting there calling out my name. (We never get red meat anymore so it is a real treat).
Then, they had mini roses on sale, buy one get one free, a tease in itself for me when I have some money in my pocket, they had a purple one so I could hardly resist. Knowing that all four of my mini rose plants are dried out twigs on my back porch which nothing can resurrect, I gave in.
Of course, I did not bring a backpack, as I would if I was planning on more than one or two things, so I carefully packed everything I could around the rose plants in my bag and proceed to walk home. The sunshine of the day, yesterday afternoon, faded into a big dark cloud, although it was still very warm.
I made it pretty far before I spotted a bench almost a third of the way home. The two store bags, and my bag with the roses packed were pretty heavy so I stopped for a rest, to repack and munch on some grapes for some energy. I finally made it home, my arms were dead and my roses survived ~ for now. Hopefully I am joking.
Today was very low key. In fact, the only thing that I planned to do out of the house was to go to the Word X Word at the Y Bar around 8:00, and I was preparing dinner, and had it in the oven when my middle son phoned to come over and decided to stay for dinner.
Surprise!! Not worried, as it was Shepherd's Pie night, (I always make two because my son loves it so much), the only thing I worried about was whether or not he would like it, guess what, I could have slapped him over the head for liking it. Surprise ~ another meal that as children "no way ~ we won't eat that" to "Why wouldn't we have liked this, this is great, we mix our food up anyway"!
You have to love the element of surprise with children. I say children, although they are quite grown up. I love to see their evolutions. They never cease to amaze me, and give me the courage to continue to evolve as well.
I for one, with the ups and downs, the motivation, lack of motivation, the times when I want to give up, quit and regress am so glad that the universe throws something in my face to kind of shake me out of it and show me the way forward. It is taking time, but I see progress. If I can recognize it and acknowledge progress in myself, it is all good ~ it means for once I am not focusing on the negative which is a huge step!
I still do not know what I "want to be when I grow up", but I see a bit clearer where I don't want to be and am figuring out the steps that I need to make my life work better for me. Life is too short not to live it the way you want to, and to find some peace and happiness. I welcome surprises, and recognize they come in all shapes and forms.