This Christmas has just changed dramatically from what I was planning and what is actually going to happen. To say I am not disappointed would be a lie and a huge one. I just found out when re~confirming dinner plans with my son and taking a head count that he and his little family will not be joining us ~ well, that new tradition went out the window.
That's okay. I am so crushed though. It is going to be difficult to pick this shattered heart up off the floor and be happy today, tomorrow or the next day for that matter. Ains is coming today and sleeping over, that should help. Difficult to be sad with her around!
We have plans to decorate the tree together ~ she has been busy baking cookies with her Mom all weekend. Something else I am not doing this Christmas either. If I don't get to a store we will be having spaghetti with jar sauce on top of it instead of Holiday Ham.
I am not worried. Not me. I have faith that the people who are supposed to be taking part of the ham part will actually bring me with them so I will have food to serve with the ham or like I said it will be spaghetti and plain sauce. Right about now I do not even care one little bit.
One day at a time right? That is what they say. I think I am at one minute at a time cuz I just feel like crawling back into bed and not waking up until Thursday ~ or New Years or never for that matter. The bah humbug Scrooge attitude which I have been trying not to pick up from my hater family is creeping in and oh what a horrible feeling it is indeed!
Oh well, I am glad that I had a wonderful birthday for a change. It was nice in a silly kind of way. No great surprises other than all of the well wishes I received from near and far ~ some expected and some totally caught me off guard.
Our Christmas bulb is opening nicely ~ I would post pictures except my camera from last year must have been one of those one year cameras which died a week earlier than a year. I will be laying it to rest in a small private ceremony later in the week. When it rains it pours!
So this is a far cry, as I said about what I was expecting ~ setting myself up yet again for disappointment and yeah ~ one thing disappointment does not disappoint! One of the reasons I do not have high hopes or look forward to anything ~ bam ~ confirmation ~ never a good idea to look forward. Everything changes in an instant.
That's okay. I am so crushed though. It is going to be difficult to pick this shattered heart up off the floor and be happy today, tomorrow or the next day for that matter. Ains is coming today and sleeping over, that should help. Difficult to be sad with her around!
We have plans to decorate the tree together ~ she has been busy baking cookies with her Mom all weekend. Something else I am not doing this Christmas either. If I don't get to a store we will be having spaghetti with jar sauce on top of it instead of Holiday Ham.
I am not worried. Not me. I have faith that the people who are supposed to be taking part of the ham part will actually bring me with them so I will have food to serve with the ham or like I said it will be spaghetti and plain sauce. Right about now I do not even care one little bit.
One day at a time right? That is what they say. I think I am at one minute at a time cuz I just feel like crawling back into bed and not waking up until Thursday ~ or New Years or never for that matter. The bah humbug Scrooge attitude which I have been trying not to pick up from my hater family is creeping in and oh what a horrible feeling it is indeed!
Oh well, I am glad that I had a wonderful birthday for a change. It was nice in a silly kind of way. No great surprises other than all of the well wishes I received from near and far ~ some expected and some totally caught me off guard.
Our Christmas bulb is opening nicely ~ I would post pictures except my camera from last year must have been one of those one year cameras which died a week earlier than a year. I will be laying it to rest in a small private ceremony later in the week. When it rains it pours!
So this is a far cry, as I said about what I was expecting ~ setting myself up yet again for disappointment and yeah ~ one thing disappointment does not disappoint! One of the reasons I do not have high hopes or look forward to anything ~ bam ~ confirmation ~ never a good idea to look forward. Everything changes in an instant.
Don't feel alone. I have always hated planning things. The plans never worked out and I just felt like crap. Now, after 70 years, I have learned to go with the flow. What is, is, and that's just the way "It Is". More than once, I have had a peanut butter sandwich for Christmas dinner. Guess what? It was a darn good peanut butter sandwich. This year, I am going to the American Legion Post 68 on Wendell Ave. The dinner is wonderful, and the guests are great. Just to let you know, it is FREE and NO RESERVATIONS are needed. Give Ainsley lots of hugs and enjoy what you have, when you have it. Love You.
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