Saturday, December 7, 2013


Another day ~ another realization.  I am thankful despite the pain and hurt that affirmation of learning what lengths and the results that toxic people and their poison have and the trail radiating from a toxic person which infect seemingly healthy relationships despite the smart and healthy people knowing the toxicity of the sick individual who has nothing better to do than flex and sharpen their claws and hurt and try to infect good people instead of dealing with the pain and problems in their own lives!

The claws have been out and scratching away ~ not mine mind you.  I am not that creature ~ thanks be to the Gods (insert your choice here)!  I just had a nice view of it last night.  I did not let it spoil my fun however.  I am used to it.  It is the story of my life.

I saw and recognized but did not react.  Someone else saw and recognized and discreetly began a conversation with me regarding the interaction.  She was hurt for me.  I was not.  It was difficult explaining to her how come I was not bothered ~ despite being bothered.

One of the reasons I tried not to develop relationships in the past was just for this reason.  Unfortunately, my life choices today require healthy relationships instead of toxic ones.  Fortunately I am learning to develop tools which help me uncover said relationships more quickly than I have in the past.

I like most people need people in my life.  I love people and large groups ~ the energy, the vibe and the overall experiences of being around people with no agendas is wonderful, even on the outside looking in!

This year has been a very large one for me in regards to putting myself out there in the world instead of being an observer in the background.  It has been also a very good year for learning on a more deeper and personal level how to recognize and evaluate the difference between good and bad relationships.

The results have been surprising.  Out of 10 meaningful relationships I have developed this year alone I have found only three or four authentic non toxic relationships and 6 or 7 very toxic relationships the jury is still out on a couple of them.  Actions do indeed speak louder than the words coming out of some peoples mouths to be sure!

I have had in the past some excellent friendships and relationships with awesome people, who despite the distance of time and space are still excellent and wonderful, long term and ongoing.  Thanks friends for that! I love that you pop up when I need you and need the affirmation!

I will not give up despite the challenges I face.  I have faith that the world is not full of toxic people and one day I will find my niche ~ I may already be there and just not know it yet!

Despite the pain of being wrong about some people (which is worse than the junior high behaviour from adults!)  I will carry on, hold my head high and pray for those people full of so much pain and negativity who have no choice to be who they are and do what they do!

1 comment:

  1. I can't stand Jr. High behavior from adults! Huge turn off. Once I've seen it - I'm out. Glad we're friends! :)