I set some pretty high standards and limits for myself in most respects because I am trying to reshape the structure of my life and make different choices and hope for different, more positive results for the future. Not that my standards and limits were low, but my outcomes are always the same. Faces may change, but in the end the story is the same.
It gets old, and very frustrating to be straightforward and honest, perhaps too much so and to expect the same. Just as human beings I think we owe each other that at the very least. But I am a gullible and have a childlike trust. No one is real anymore, and it is a shame. It makes it tricky to know who to trust, what to believe and even really to the extent of wanting to shut down and isolate and forget humans altogether. If only!!
But that we know is unrealistic. Been there, done that. If I were rich and could live on my own private island then maybe, but alas, that we all know is never going to happen at least not in this lifetime! So the quest continues on working on being observant, aware, trust ~ but not too much, not lose faith.
My problem is that I am feeling the sameness of my life and while I have met some of my goals, others still are frustrating me, as they are not able to be remedied immediately. So that nagging voice in my head is trying to make me feel inadequate as a human being in an area where I have made progress yet still need to work on!
Overall I know that this is just a bump in my road. The day was grey, I got stuck walking in the rain, and then the snow while I was wet. I really just wanted to be home relaxing yet life was calling. Priorities and responsibilities always come first.
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