It took a few hours, but after posting my blog and meeting with two very wise men in my life I got a better perspective and a grip on things after slightly short circuiting. That and taking down my Christmas decorations and burying my dining room table with the help of Mike Pezzo, who was there when I un-boxed everything - everything does come full circle. Let's not forget the comfort food - some butternut squash, some mildly distracting music and winning a few games of backgammon and my tea.
Mike is just hitting the airwaves on our local radio station, playing some very awesome music. It seems I am not the only one affected this day with bothersome thoughts and regressions. Misery loves company and I was in fine company today! And music soothes the savage soul as I am medicating with it as I type and feeling better and better with each beat and each word I type. Should be interesting as every other song is going to be instrumental and I am a huge fan of bands riffing and jamming!
Speaking of bands, I did go out on Saturday evening and heard not one but two great bands! The blues band - T-Bone Daddy, and let me tell you - Tyler Fairbanks blows me away with his guitar playing that I can barely dance - mesmerized with his guitar playing! Dysfunction also played - don't know the names of the band members but the keyboard player can really belt out a tune vocally and the sax kicked its own brand of ass!
I also imbibed in alcohol and got very intoxicated off barely a drink and a half! I do not drink regularly at all - a personal choice I made one fine day so many lifetimes ago. After the work, the stress of the week and the lack of food I got really buzzed, not sloppy, but fun and happy drunk, until the supermarket at 3 a.m. with it's bright glaring lights! My partner in crime - who doesn't drink did not even laugh at me, but my son teased me about it for two days!
Deciding to carry on and move forward as I am not a quitter. I am also going to have a good firm introspection on what is really making me feel bad, and make some serious decisions which will result ultimately in conflict, which cannot be as bad as the conflict which I have been having with myself, but not because of myself - due to shall we say - outside negative influences.
Concerned about the pending outlook on my dental plan and really feeling the need for a second opinion, and the huge need for a primary doctor for some antibiotics to kick this infection out of my body really will be the jump start I need.
I finally feel like I am in a good place and on a good path. Unsure about the outcome, yet looking forward to and scooping up each opportunity as they come, living in the light and love of life is where I do want to be! I want to wear my wings and fly - destination unknown headlong into my life that I have been afraid of living all of these years.
I am a rookie and I do believe the more that I am around people I will learn how to not judge, but select in a positive way the people who are important and leave the blood sucking vampires far behind. I do have faith in Karma and lovingly know that what comes around goes around - eventually!
So with peace and faith and love I go forward again - just wanted to let you all know! Thank you again for your loving support!