This mornings meltdown far behind me, I am taking a moment this Thanksgiving eve to do what I like to do best and write.
I don't know if I went to sleep on the wrong side of the bed but I sure did wake up with a heart full of sorrow and pain this morning.
That is unusual for me. To succumb to one sentence spoken to me driving my waking thoughts all over the place and dredging up more painful memories, it was apparently a huge trigger for me.
Writing did not bring me out of it ~ a couple of crying bouts, a conversation with a friend nor a long walk did the trick.
I did have to focus extremely hard not to think about what was bothering on my hike. One good thing was it didn't rain.
Another was that I walked to a supermarket which I have never walked to before on roads I have only driven down so there was a lot to distract me visually.
I don't even think, after reflecting upon my emotions and the impact which they had on me, that what was said to me was the core cause of such a reaction ~ that it went much, much deeper than that.
Being a "family" holiday does not help me either, as my extended families and my core family doesn't mix for a number of reasons, so I have my day with my family (sons) and their families.
We are short a son, daughter in law and granddaughter for this holiday. I have Christmas with them. I am thinking this is a good thing this year since I am not my usual perky self.
I have the turkey thawing in the sink for a little while in preparation. I am going to make the chocolate pie in the morning and then all I have to do is peel stuff. Not too bad.
No stuffing ~ my family is so easy. A roasted bird, some smashed garlic potatoes, my homemade gravy and some green beans to add some colour along with some cranberry sauce and voila.
Since I have stopped using the dining room as the dumping ground, everything is pretty much in order. My biggest concern is whether I should add the leaf to the table or go with a more cozy setting for the five of us.
Considering this morning I was actually thinking about just cooking, serving and excusing myself from the meal I think I have come a long way indeed.
I do need to find out what time everyone is planning to eat dinner here, another concern. No stress!
I opting for an early evening this evening to take care of this massive headache and put an end to this rotten and miserable day so I can have a fresh one to work with tomorrow.
If you celebrate then do have a Happy Thanksgiving!