Friday, August 28, 2015


The moon is almost full and earlier it was as clear and bright as could be.  I toured back roads from Pittsfield with my Dad, Orleans Dave and Lisa heading to North Adams for the Downtown Art Show.

I was on a mission (when am I not) in search of new Art and artists and to support a couple of my local Art friends Scott Taylor and Sean McCusker as they showed in the B.A.M., formerly know as R.A.M., but which had changed names recently and led to some confusion last night as I tried to pinpoint just where I needed to be to see two of my favorite local artists.

I love driving the back roads.  I really have been realizing lately how insane I must have been back in 2008 when I lost my house, to give up all three of my cars!

I guess my awareness is a good sign so far as that goes!  I really am going to miss traveling by car when my Dad is ready to drive again, which by my estimation will be pretty soon.  I am really going to have to figure out how to add a car into my life!

Life can be and has been a real drag as a walker.  I thought I was spoiled over the winter by not having to drive, with the luxury of having my Dad's car in order to meet his basic needs while he was in the hospital, at my house and now back at his house - driving to Hudson and Northampton, places I like to go to and enjoy the people and atmosphere and the freedom of the open road!

As I was saying before I got diverted by cars and back roads and all of the things that make my life enjoyable aside from people, art, artists and writing.

The moon is really making me restless as the evening gets later and later.  We all went up to check out the art and then enjoyed another series of roads that were previously unknown to two out of three of my passengers.

Lisa felt like I was lost because she had no idea where we were and they were dark paved roads with trees all around and only the moon and the headlights for light.    The kind of road I am wishing I was driving down as I sit in my house and listen to "The Police" traveling lifetimes back to my teenage years, trying to take off on a musical journey instead of putting my shoes and coat back on and heading out into the moonlight.

When my company left at 10:30 after our adventure, I grabbed the keys and did take a drive up to North Street, parked the car and took a walk on almost empty streets.  Our city is pretty lame, even the music, and there is music tonight in one place, surprising, but it ends early since there are apartments above it.

I was in no mood to be around people for some strange reason.  A very rare occurrence indeed.  I stood in the shadows within hearing and smoked a cig and then fell deeper into the shadows, past the church, crossing myself as I passed, as I always do.

I passed strangers on the street, couples walking arm in arm, a guy walking his dog, cloak of invisibility snuggly wrapped around me, glad that I had to not interact, yet wishing to interact at the same time.

I am being pulled in two directions at the same time - some internal conflict brewing deep inside- outside of my grasp of comprehension for the time being.  I am eager and anxious to hang the show for September, eager to have the last of the work in house so I can lay it out and set it up.

The Art Discussion went well with five women artists and an audience!  When I arrived at the Whit on Wednesday, I was excited as there were cars in the driveway, so I was hopeful that we were going to have an audience this month, despite the two days of event sharing.

I was surprised when I walked in to turn on the lights, that a group was doing a reading and were not planning on being done for another hour and a half, which was bothersome since our talk was scheduled for 6 and it was 5:30!

I got the Director on the phone and he was just arriving and had forgotten about it.  Horrible scenes passed before my eyes and crossed my brain.  I was cool though when he said we would figure it out. I was glad it was early and none of the artists had arrived.

I decided I needed to go and grab a tea while he did his thing.  When I returned the room was almost set up and a couple of my artists arrived at the same time as me and my Dad and the Reading group was relocating to parts unknown.

Double booking is uncommon, but I guess it happens in more places than the Doctors!  The ladies were awesome and everyone had a good time.  It is always nice to listen to artists talk about their craft and the five women were very multifaceted and I learned many interesting details which I did not know before about each one of them.  The audience also asked some very good questions so all in all it was a grand evening.

I was equally happy when I got home and the guy I am dating called me up and we went for a short ride despite the late hour for one who has to get up at 4 a.m.  It was a nice surprise and a gold star is in order for sure, I love that I have not realistically noticed one thing so far to raise a red flag.

This dating stuff is very new to me, despite my age and the fact that I have three grown sons, dating is not on my resume.  I could count on one hand the number of actual dates I have been on over the past thirty some odd years.

It is kind of embarrassing, but I have mainly tripped into very serious relationships kind of passing the dating step or have been single and not interested in intimate relationships beyond the friend stage.

I do enjoy dating at the moment.  I am glad I decided to step out of my comfort zone and say yes, my only regret is that I had to put him off for a whole month before I had time.  I guess it is a good sign that he was still interested.

So I really am off on all kinds of tangents this evening.  Sting is singing and I am rambling.  My 10:30 meeting with my final two artists got postponed until tomorrow afternoon which is okay and is allowing me to write once more today.

Thomas bailed on me and went to hang out with two of his buddies from Williamstown, whom he has been friends with since 8th grade.  One of them got some life changing news today and needed the support of his two best buds.  I wish he was here to watch t.v. with and drive me crazy in a good way!

What goes up must come down and what one begins one must finish I guess.  I am feeling like I am at a crossroads of some sort this evening, must be the moon - that is all I can imagine.  I suppose, however it could be some premonitory thing, and I wont be surprised by anything good or bad these days.

Besides, life is life, it is all how you react to life that makes it what it is.  I am doing pretty good with rolling with the punches and getting "IT" done no matter what "IT" is, right down to this "Self-care" stuff I have been doing over the past couple of weeks.

I am eager to hang my show and go see my surgeon and find out just what I have to deal with, if anything.  Part of me wants what I have been feeling physically to just be the way it is, but another part of me wants there to be something that can be "fixed" to relieve the numbness on the left side of my body and the sciatic nerve crap that has been going on.  I know it takes at least seven years (long ones) to repair nerve damage, but that is better than nothing.  I am patient.

The album is over and the house is quiet, I am sure I have kept you long enough with my mindless wandering ramblings...until tomorrow, keep well and have a great one!

No comments:

Post a Comment