Monday, August 3, 2015


It is early Monday morning and I am up an hour before the alarm, unable to sleep.  Bleary eyed as I am I know that I need to face a couple of things that I have been struggling with facing.  Since I hate conflict, and believe me, I will do anything to avoid it, I have been putting off facing these things for sometime now.

The stress is killing me.  The two separate issues I have are equally troubling and I don't know what is bothering me more, the situations or facing my problems with them head on.  Both situations have things in common.

Both deal with people, people I like and whom I am connected to in very deep and somewhat personal ways.  Both situations usually make me happy, but the happiness I once felt is over shadowed by the very real and extreme problem of being overburdened by people who just take more and give very little in return.

My inability to say no, set limits and feel good about what I am doing is causing me serious issue within myself.  So the inability to sleep is just one of many warning signs flashing in my brain.  Each day that I continue to let these things brew in my brain and in my heart I feel my stress levels growing to the point that I cannot handle.

The stomach ache and heart ache I feel each day and each demand as more and more is "expected" and asked and sometimes just dumped on me is weighing me down.  I know that if I do not address these situations soon I am going to have a nervous breakdown, a heart attack or a case of spontaneous combustion!  None of these options work for me.

So what do you do when you reach your limit?  Do you sit back and let it continue or do you try to come up with reasonable solutions for whatever your problem is?  What do you do when you do not see the possibility of a reasonable solution?

Now I for one know that most problems are not so bad, and most people, myself included will write a scenario which is worse than what the actual results will be, but in most of my experiences I have found when you set a limit and put your foot down after allowing yourself to get in a position such as the two that I am in the end results usually are as bad as what I had feared they would be.

I am sure you are reading and thinking, face it, have a talk with these people who are putting their problems and their business on your lap, it can't be as bad as all that, people are reasonable, maybe they just are not aware at what they are doing.

In each case, I fear that they are very aware of what they are doing and are testing to see what they can and cannot get away with.  It is my fault in a way, in both cases.  Accepting blindly, not realizing that I was walking down a slippery slope into a great pit.

One situation I have resolved to enforce a set a deadline and facilitate it within 11 days.  The other I will need to have a serious discussion within the same time period as well I imagine.  I have watched other people fall into the trap I have fallen into.  I have seen the end result of one of these situations and how others have handled it.  I am not eager to address either of these situations.

In each case I have to be able to accept that my relationships with these people will be changed.  In both case I know that I will be looked upon unfavorably by the other parties when the ride stops.

 For my own sake and as the saying goes, its last call, the party is over and its time to go, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.  The ride is over, end of the line, toot toot, exit stage left! I have to take my leave despite all that it means.

1 comment:

  1. Jen, despite all of your woe's, in the end you have to please YOU. No matter the end result you need ypur sanity. Be gentle and as kind as you can be but do it, and do it now. You only have to answer to God and He sees all and is all forgiving. I am willing my inner strength to you, good luck. Love you lots, AJ 💛