Tuesday, August 11, 2015


I knew that after a good nights rest every thing from yesterdays lunatic fringe would settle.  Not that I am at a solution, but I am not as angry and upset as I was.  I woke up more settled and decided I would just take a day of avoidance in the name of self care and focus on easier things.

I was just going to not face anything too difficult and the phone rang.  Property manager sending a worker over to fix the leaky faucet in the shower - did I get upset that it was in minutes after waiting for word for days - nope, I was grateful.

The promise of the grass and hedges being cut on the next sunny day was even better since the hedges haven't been cut all summer.  At the rate I am paying for rent and maintenance I don't really expect to have to phone for the normal things like cutting the grass and shrubs - it should be a given.

I must say I was really spoiled by the previous property manager Ned (RIP).  He ran his business like a well oiled machine and I never once had to call for anything except a refill on the salt for the walks in the wintertime.

My poor flower beds are now overrun with weeds and my house is beginning to look like a slum as it is now.  It really is a shame to go from one of the cutest well maintained property to one that looks in rack and ruin!

I am straying off of my positive track so I need to reel it back on track - sorry about that, just a little residue left over.  I promised myself to only look at a beautiful and positive things today, think positive and be kinder to myself.

Dad's month is just about over at my house.  Friday is the day scheduled for him to go home.  He is accepting it and making plans, getting organized and preparing.  It is not like he will be on his own.  I will still be taking him to appointments, doing his pills and helping him out.  The only difference is he will be at his house and I will be at mine.

He will miss the cable and all of the great meals.  He is a good cook himself, so I don't know what he is complaining about.  He has a bit of work to do at his house and has plans.  I just hope his plans include paying attention to not overdoing it.

Tom and Dad and I had a great dinner and then they began playing cards while I did some things on the computer after dinner.  After a while I joined them and it was a close game.  Dad came back from behind and killed Tom and I but I came in second which wasn't last at least!  Tom is a good loser even though he was way ahead of the two of us before the final hand.

My Dad thought my meltdown yesterday was because of him, which, for a change it wasn't.  I had to explain the complex workings of my brain for him to understand why something so common caused such a serious reaction from me.

Let me count the reasons - of course I am not going to bore you all with the details.  Suffice it to say - it is what it is and some things work themselves out (not that I am going to be happy but whatever!) Since when do we like some, or all  of our fates?

I have been batting 1000 lately, but there is no way I could have handled yesterday any more gracefully under all of the weight of everything else I have been dealing with.  Art, nature and my five minutes of fame can only cancel out so much of the pressures of the real reality.

As good of a juggler that I am I dropped all of the balls yesterday.  I am not sorry, I am just human, and one human after all, expected to carry the burdens of others which do get heavy and tiresome at times.  Even givers need to take once in a while - yesterday my cup was empty and broke into a million pieces.

Today I have a new vessel and it is slowly filling up thanks to Eversource messing up since April for giving me a legitimate place to question their actions and pass off some of my negative energy in a positive way (and with minimal cursing) and 10 days to correct an issue in billing which they assured me for months was in the works but which never seems to get fixed with an "Or Else" just before Goodbye!

Taking back some of one's power is so rejuvenating!  Now to get some results or take further action.  I even, with the help of my cousin have been pointed in the right direction if matters do not get resolved.

All part of self care.

Although at times I don't mind walking around and feeling and acting like a crazy person, I do not think it is a place that I really want to live if you know what I mean.  So, dear readers, thank you for (hopefully) not judging me too harshly for my meltdown yesterday!

We have made some positive plans for the Friday Farewell and are planning on doing our Vermont ride route backwards to be at the Pond first in the afternoon instead of last so I can catch the light on the Pond.

Hopefully, I will remember which lefts and rights I made and will be able to navigate back to Bennington for an almost ritualistic visit to K.F.C. and the Deer Park.  It should be a great time, as our adventures usually are!

Thanks again my dear readers and goodnight!

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like your train is getting back on the track. Glad to hear it is headed in the right direction.

    Never met your dad, but tell him I wish him well. Soon his train will be headed up the right track with all systems go.

    You will have to give me directions to KFC I love it and miss it.

    Keep on, keeping on.