Saturday, August 1, 2015

MOTHERLY LOVE AND FINISHING BUSINESS

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MOTHERLY LOVE


   
 
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"Mom" I said  expectantly into the phone, "Are you there?"  Silence followed my question.  I could hear breathing on the other end of the phone, signs of life.

It had been 20 years since I had called my MoM, getting further than a dial tone was a good sign.  More of a response than the blank stares and the refusal to speak to me at family funerals and our grand-daughters birthday.

More than when I said "Hello" when I saw her at her job in the supermarket where she would abruptly walk away without responding.

The closest acknowledgement of my existence at her job when she was cashiering and told the cashier next to her that she couldn't  ring me since I was her daughter,  telling my boyfriend when he went forward "Supposedly, she was my mother, when he asked.




FINISHING BUSINESS

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Unfinished business was on  my mind as I drove through the night.  The cool desert air blowing back my hair as I gazed at the millions of stars dotting the night sky.
I had miles to go before I slept, heading across the country, back East.  I had been out West living in a small community of like minded people, living off the land, until the call came.
"It's time" click.  I  knew what it was time for, not specifically, but I would have many miles to contemplate and formulate how to conclude the business, finally at hand which I had waited 20 long years to conclude.
The road was empty this late at night, I turned up the radio loud, hit the gas and felt like I was flying at I topped 120 mph, the ride smooth, the wind kissing my face.  Soon I thought.

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